Please See The Whole Picture

joy

I share a lot of our struggle. I need it to be seen.

It cannot be the part of autism that gets ignored to make others more comfortable. And I feel like so much of severe autism gets minimized.

It has to have a voice!

I don’t just want people to be aware or accept, I want you to be a voice, an advocate and see the whole picture.

You have to see the dark, because it is there whether you want to see it or not.

However, with that being said, I don’t want you to think our world is all sad, full of stress and heavy.

We have so much joy!

The whole picture, I want you to see it.

My beautiful girl has joy! She has so much of it!

The struggles of autism do not define her life and her whole being. And just a moment of my girl’s joy can fill my heart full of love.

Her joy can cure my dark.

The older she gets, the more I have to let go of the stress of the fix, the cure and the verbal voice that may never come.

I hold hope for these things and always will, even with the push from those who disagree. But letting go of that stress will help the flow of our joy.

Her joy comes in waves. Just like yours and mine. And lately, even with the hours and hours of lost sleep, we have seen so much of her joy.

My girl is waking with a smile more often than not. She is coming out of her room, wanting to be in our space, which we so badly want her to be in, and she is including us into hers.

This went away for a while and it was heartbreaking and hard.

Hard to witness, hard to figure out but it helped shift the focus back to find her joy.

The hard times sometimes give us direction. And I love seeing her joy break through more and more every day.

She wants my head next to hers and to stare right into my eyes with a smile on her face.

She wants to play and to be tickled.

She wants to giggle and skip.

She wants time with her daddy when he gets home from work.

She even gives her brother a smile and laugh here and there.

Her music toy’s repetitive sounds fill our house along with her laugh.

Her joy has not been erased by her struggle!

And I know she does not want you to see her dark, she needs you to see it. But she most certainly wants you to see her joy!

Our canvas is not all sunshine and rainbows. Nobody’s is. Our picture goes from light to dark and back again.

So, when I show you the struggle and the pain, know the joy is still there!

It is always apart of our whole picture. We want you to see it all.

Written by, Shelley Tinnon 

I am 39, married and have two beautiful children.  My daughter, Sloane, is 10 and has severe, nonverbal autism.  She teaches me something new about her and myself almost every day.  Jude is my 3 year old.  I cannot remember life before Jude.  He is the sweetest, brightest little light.  My husband and I have known each other since we were kids.  He knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me and still loves me.  I feel like I should get him a trophy or something! I tell my kids every day that they are “Momma’s Girl” and “Momma’s Boy” and poor daddy! Jaeson completely disagrees with this statement, but the truth hurts! Hahaha! 

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

Avatar photo

Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

Share this post: