Always Read The Chart

I brought my dog Chloe to the vet tonight. She has an ear infection.

I was dreading bringing her.

See, a month or so ago I brought my other dog here because he was sick.

And he never came home. I’m not over it. Not even close.

Now I know to some people dogs are just dogs. But to me, he was my first baby, my constant, and my happiest hello.

Putting him to sleep was traumatic for me. And not just the process.

For starters I had never done it before.

I didn’t know it was going to happen that day. I thought we had more time.

I didn’t know that you had to make the decision to end their life. That you have to say ‘yes’ I want to do this. I mean he was my baby.

How could I decide to do that to him?

I didn’t realize how fast we’d have to make the decision.

I didn’t know you’d be presented with a bill before it was even done.

I didn’t realize how hard my husband and I would cry. The deep, ugly, gasping for breath crying.

I didn’t realize I would hold him while he took his last breath. And that I’d have to leave him there. I’d arrive with a dog and leave without one.

Anyhow, going tonight scared me. I was nervous to bring Chloe in. I was sick about it. But she needed to go.

Thankfully, we had a different exam room.

When the vet walked in my stomach dropped. It was the same lady who handed me Kleenex and told me I was making the right decision.

She was the one who put the needle in and told us we could take all the time we needed.

I felt the tears spring up instantly.

Except, she must not have remembered me. She walked up, introduced herself and shook my hand.

I just sat there with my mouth open as she spoke. She said some stuff about my dogs ears, asked some questions and left the room.

When the appointment was done she said, ‘nice to meet you.’

I was still shocked.

She didn’t remember me at all. She didn’t know she played such a significant part in my life.

Now I don’t fault the her. Honestly I don’t. I’m sure she has a million patients. And she was and is a lovely person and vet.

She was probably too busy to look at my chart and see that our dog was put to sleep just a short while ago. I get it. It was the end of the day. Supper time.

She probably puts dogs down a dozen times a week too.

I get all the reasons why.

But what does shock me is how one of the hardest moment in my life, a moment I shared with another person, is so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

It’s bizarre when you think about it. It got me thinking. Whose life have I played a part in and had no idea?

I dawned on me that I should always take the time to read the chart. Because sometimes, you just don’t know.

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