I Can’t Ever Die
I’m not sad about our lives.
It’s never been sadness. Its been sheer terror. I have been terrified.
What will his life be? We are so close to adulthood.
What am I suppose to do now?
Do the angry autism advocates online realize the thoughts running in my head?
The ones where I can’t ever die because I have a child who will never live independently?
Do they plan on picking him up and caring for him when I am 80?
No, I’m not a “martyr mom”.
I’m a terrified one and the group where I should feel comfort rejects me simply based on their own bad experiences or because what I represent to them.
I’m told to listen to autistic voices and when I have quoted ones, I have been shut down and told it’s the wrong ones.
So, there are cliques in a clique?
How is navigating all that ever going to help my son?
I simply do not have the time nor the energy anymore.
There is only one autistic voice I will listen to and it’s my son’s. That’s it.
Written by, Eileen “Mama Fry” Shaklee
Autism is a trip I didn’t plan on, but I sure do love my tour guide. It’s better to laugh than to cry, mainly because I got distracted by the free samples at Costco and forgot to buy tissues. So, come join this one mom’s adventure with a side of sarcasm (and fries) on my blog, Autism With a Side of Fries or on Facebook and Twitter.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
