The Baby Who Put Us Back Together

Our family had the best day celebrating Harbor’s first birthday. As I watched him devour his cake I thought back to a year ago.

I was so scared. So nervous. A baby. A third boy. How would we ever have enough time and energy for another one.

And what if. Oh, the what if’s. The elephant in the room always autism.

What if Cooper was aggressive? What if he got worse? What if he couldn’t handle the crying?

We actually had contingency plans. Scenarios. Plans.

We’d have to put a gate on the babies door. The baby wouldn’t be able to lie on the floor unattended.

We’d have to travel in separate vehicles. Noise canceling headphones, locks, baby video monitors.

Safety our biggest concern.

Jamie and I played out every scenario.

Preparing ourselves, and Cooper, as much as we could. A baby doll, diapers, bottles, social stories, and a recording of a baby crying. None of it appearing to work.

And then he was here.

Squishy, snuggly, a head full of blonde hair. And perfect.

Sawyer was in love immediately. Cooper was scared. Nervous.

He was afraid of his squeaks and noises. At first he wouldn’t touch him, covering his ears. Hiding.

Then a few weeks later he’d sit on the floor near him. Then he’d touch his head. Then hugs. And life happened.

We just kept living. Moving forward. Growing as a family.

This morning the baby followed Cooper all over the house. Stealing his paper and Cheerios.

Forcing his way into Cooper’s world. Demanding to be seen.

Cooper practicing ‘no, no, no.’ The baby not caring at all.

Cooper tattling to me nonverbally. Pointing at his brother and me smiling back. ‘Get used to it buddy…he’s your biggest fan.’

Cooper sighing. Just like brothers do.

They are siblings.

Life has a way of working out. I wish someone would have told me that so I wouldn’t have worried so much.

This baby. He healed our family. He filled in the cracks. And put us back together.

Happy birthday love.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE