In a Blink you are a Senior
In a blink, seventeen years have come and gone so quickly.
This year is your senior year and I couldn’t be more proud.
You are happy and finding your way. You have friends, are learning skills to work and even talk about living with friends, not to mention you talk nonstop.
It brings me to tears for more reasons than one.
Those earlier years were so tough.
You couldn’t talk until you were seven, but now I swear you make up for lost time.
Time seemed to go by so slowly and drag. It was so hard to get by day to day, even hour to hour.
I wondered what things would be like down the road for both of us as I still do.
I worry often for you about the day that I will no longer be here.
I worry for myself about the day that you will no longer need me and I will not have a purpose.
We aren’t a fairy tale story by any means.
Your brother and the two of us overcame divorce as many special needs families do.
We were lucky to find a wonderful guy who welcomed us and we became a larger family in the process. With “dad’s” help we made huge strides too.
We couldn’t be prouder of the young man you are becoming. I would fill out all those forms about my hopes and dreams for you as I still do.
I would always write “For Matt to live a life fulfilled with happiness”.
This is coming true, but has been a lot of hard work on your part and many others who have been so helpful along the way.
Now, just like most moms at this point in time I’m wishing for those little times back again.
I know they were hard and you had so many things going on inside you that you couldn’t control.
I’m just not ready to let you go just yet.
What I would give to have my baby in my arms again in the middle of the night, rocking him sweetly while feeding him.
That time when the world was quiet and peaceful and it was just you and me.
You would look at me so lovingly and I would touch your eyebrow in that way that would put you right to sleep at the end of your bottle.
Parents cherish so many moments along the way and time goes so quickly.
You my little peanut, made every moment worth it.
Written by, Valerie Orbaker
Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
