A Letter to my Autistic Husband
Dear David,
I’m writing this letter to you in a public forum for two reasons.
First, I want to shout from the rooftops just how amazing, wonderful, loving, kind and funny a husband I have.
Second, because some people have a very narrow view of what autism is, and I’d like to correct a few misconceptions.
You came into my life 18 years ago and immediately won my heart by making me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my chair!
I knew you were different from the first time we met. You didn’t think like I did.
You made me see the world in such new and wonderful colors I had never imagined existed before then.
I had no idea, at that time, that you were autistic. Ironically, neither did you.
We have made this journey together, and I’m glad.
I’m glad I was there with you when that final puzzle piece clicked into place and you realized that all the people who discouraged you, who told you over the years that you were weird or bad or wrong, had no idea what they were talking about.
They don’t see what I see.
They don’t see the effort it takes for you to go grocery shopping, especially if the store is crowded.
They don’t see how you manage to help keep the house in order when it’s a struggle to see past the clutter to what actually needs cleaning.
They don’t know how hard it is to be out all day, even for a fun trip, with no way to get some downtime and decompress.
They don’t see the occasional meltdowns as the unavailable result of too much input.
They don’t know what I know about how hard you work for the everyday victories of living a “normal life”.
You do all this on top of helping me deal with my own struggles.
Things have changed a bit in the last couple of years. We’ve added our beautiful baby Jack to the mix.
Since he was born, you have more than proved what I’ve always known.
You are an amazing father!
You are patient, engaged, interested, gentle but firm, and you even change diapers!
You keep him safe. You show him, as you’ve shown me, to look for the wonder in the world.
You are my partner in this as you have been in everything else.
So, despite the occasional misunderstanding, the not so occasional misread social cue on both our parts and the times when your need to stem drives me crazy (yes, your leg bouncing is shaking the floor again), I would not trade a minute of it.
No, that’s too mild.
What I’m trying to say is that I wish everyone could find a relationship as rewarding, a partnership as fulfilling, and a love as strong as ours.
We’ve been forged in fire, Babe, and the best is yet to come!
I love you so, so much.
Love, Angie
Written by, Angela Hudson
Angela is a wife and mother who lives near Atlantic City, NJ. She is legally blind and partially deaf, and her husband, David, is legally blind and autistic. They are raising a rowdy two year old son who is the center of their universe.
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