Watch our Son with your Heart
Many emotions arise each time we start a new chapter with our son Benton.
I hope for understanding in a world that speaks only with our mouth and so seldom our hearts.
Benton was given the ability to speak only with his heart.
Watch him with more than your eyes.
Look beneath the supposed behavior and imagine what he may be saying to you by his movements and sounds.
Conclusions must not be rushed to with our children. Think first what could have caused him to cry, or run away, or any other perceived wrong behavior.
Imagine what he would say to you if he could.
Does he run away or plant his feet across a threshold?
What would you say if your sensory system picked up on every tiny sound, every color at one time, every movement perceived to be coming at you in a moment?
Would you scream? Would you cry?
Would you become so overwhelmed you ran away or planted your feet unmovable because of the pain? Is this a “bad” behavior?
What if he becomes so engrossed in an activity that he doesn’t respond to you when you call?
Have you ever felt what it’s like to finally be able to focus in on one thing after feeling all things in one moment?
Wouldn’t that feel like a place you want to hide?
What if he doesn’t want to transition from one thing to the next?
Can you imagine all your excitement built around one thing until it’s all you can think about?
Can you imagine being so relieved to do something you enjoy that finally makes you feel grounded and then having to walk away from it?
We practice doing the hard things.
It’s just life and we always have to move on. But watch Benton and his peers with eyes of compassion.
With eyes that think before they judge. With eyes that look outside the box that our children will never fit inside.
So few of their perceived negative behaviors are what they seem. They don’t belong in a box.
Their beauty is far too great to be ordinary.
Written by, Becca Edwards
I am a mom to two boys – 8 and 6 years old. My younger son has severe, non-verbal autism. He is an amazing gift to our family and we will never stop advocating for him!
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