The Message The Today Show Sent about Healthy Babies
If you run in the special needs parenting circles you’ve heard about the segment The Today Show did on how big of a relief it was for the former Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband to get the test results back that their baby did not have Down Syndrome and was “genetically healthy”.
I actually was watching The Today Show the morning it was aired.
One thing I thought was a bit distasteful was how they were teasing it up in the promos. Like, tune in, hopefully there is nothing wrong with this kid. It felt weird. But I guess that is show business.
But besides that, there were mixed feelings about it in my world. And about the message they were sending to the world.
First let me say, what they felt, as expecting parents, is perfectly okay and completely natural.
I remember being pregnant with my first child and thinking, just let him be healthy. I would pray that over and over again. That’s normal.
I don’t fault them for their fears or their relief. And I also believe that documenting their journey will help many.
But they, and the Today Show, seemed to forget that the message they were sending was “Whew! Thank God their child isn’t going to be like yours – let’s celebrate that, shall we?” to so many parents out there who have children with Down Syndrome.
I obviously don’t have a child with down syndrome but I do have a child with severe autism, a diagnosis that many parents pray will never “happen to their babies”. And as you all know, there is no test for autism in utero.
I was pregnant just like Shawn. I even had a miscarriage before. A pretty brutal one if you ask me.
I did everything right when I was pregnant. I took my prenatal vitamins. I didn’t do drugs, smoke, drink, eat blue cheese or lunch meat, blah, blah, blah.
At age three my son was diagnosed with autism. Later, severe, nonverbal, apraxia, and severe intellectual disability were thrown out there.
I knew from day one that something was different. Call it a mother’s intuition.
But despite all of that, he is healthy. He was a healthy baby and is a healthy boy. And he is thriving.
He has a beautiful life. He brings joy to not only our family but to hundreds of thousands of people on this page. He is learning to communicate. He attends school. He loves photos, trains, the alphabet and paper.
He is my son. He is my joy.
I have been doing this blogging thing long enough to know that there are people out their who believe a child with Down Syndrome, or autism, is a wasted life. I read it. Daily actually.
They leave comments like, ‘I’d rather not have a child than have one like yours.’
These comment come from a place of maliciousness. But, like this story and other well-meaning people, many comments come from a place of ignorance instead.
Shawn and her husband are celebrating out of fear of the unknown. They are celebrating because they can hold onto normal. I get it. I truly do.
I was fearful of my current world too.
When the word autism was said I wanted to run away and hide. And boy did I grieve. I can admit that. Because I didn’t know any better. I couldn’t picture any life other than ‘normal.’
I share this world to educate. If I can help just one parent by showing the unique beauty of our world than I’ve served my purpose.
And maybe one day, we won’t share a story that implies that any life is less than.
I truly believe that this story was meant to show the struggles and joy of infertility, pregnancy loss and the beauty of a happy ending.
I think The Today Show messed up though.
The story could have easily been framed differently. It could have been educational.
It could have offered support and resources to families who actually do get the Down Syndrome possibility. It could have shared a story of positivity and hope.
I think this quote from Facebook by Natalie Gilbert Palin, explains it best, “If you don’t have a child with [disabilities], it may be hard to understand the gut-punch that comes every time I hear of someone celebrating not having a child like mine.”
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