I am so Thankful for my Cheer Squad
Special needs parenting is rough. I’m not gonna sugar coat it anymore.
It is the single most hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
The first two years were pretty typical, I always looked to my friends for mom advice.
Diaper cream, sippy cups etc.
The last three have been hard. I don’t have anyone to ask for advice anymore.
It’s just us.
My husband, our pre-verbal ASD son and me.
We make a great team and my son is the MVP.
He is tough, smart and even though he doesn’t speak in sentences…he is hilarious.
It is hard sometimes. It’s hard to be hit or screamed at by someone you love unconditionally.
To constantly be in this state of panic because you never know when he is gonna bolt or make his own ladder out of toys to reach for something dangerous high up.
It’s almost like your nervous system doesn’t have time to reboot itself. Like it’s just running on top speed 24/7.
The chaos doesn’t make me love him any less, it makes me love him harder.
His anxieties and fears break my heart.
When a child scrapes their knee, you bandage them up and wipe their tears.
I can’t bandage his internal struggles.
My job is to be the calm in the storm and that’s a heavy load somedays.
We do have this amazing cheer squad that is behind the scenes.
They don’t live the same life but I can assure you that they root for us even when we aren’t around.
My forever friends.
Funniest part is that one is not even a Mom yet.
She can’t “relate” to Mom life but she relates to me.
They let me brag about all of his progress for hours and are just as excited as we are.
I am so thankful for each one of you.
I have a hard time saying how much special needs parenting hurts. How some days bring me to my knees begging for a better tomorrow for him.
I always feel like if I say it’s hard then I have to immediately follow up with saying how much I love him.
If I didn’t love him so much then it probably wouldn’t be this hard….so why do I feel so guilty admitting that some days are challenging?
My girlfriend took me away for a relaxing little trip this weekend. She let me vent, she let me tell her how hard things have been.
She didn’t try to fix it, she just sat there with tears in her eyes and asked why I didn’t tell her this was going on.
I don’t want to wallow in the hard parts, I don’t want people to think that I’m sad or depressed.
That’s all we need sometimes, just a loving ear to listen and let us share our fears.
I don’t need you to solve my problems or offer advice…..I just need you to see me when I can’t.
For my cheer squad, I am so thankful for you.
You make me a better Mom by just being you.
You give me grace on the hard days and always remind me to care for myself too.
We never want to feel weak as parents, there is a stigma around special needs parents and being open about the struggles.
I stayed quiet for awhile, kept in all inside because I saw how some reacted to a parent being open about it being hard.
I’m not quiet anymore, I have a whole squad behind me letting me know that’s it’s ok to say it’s hard.
For that, I am thankful.
You can’t do this life alone and I hope you never feel you have to. Find your squad and love them hard.
Most importantly, let them love you. All of you.
The ugly and imperfect parts of you.
When we allow ourselves to be open the healing begins and it shows others that they can share too.
Be Kind.
Written by, An Anonymous Mother
Finding Cooper’s Voice accepts guest posts from writers who choose to stay anonymous. I do this because so many of these topics are hard to talk about. The writers are worried about being shamed. They are worried about being judged. As a writer and mother I totally get it. But I also understand the importance of telling our stories. And this will ALWAYS be a safe place to do it.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
