Rollercoaster of Love
When a friend asks me what parenting special needs is like I always try to be honest but I also hold a lot back.
I want to share with them so that they can understand but also know that there are things they will never be able to wrap their minds around.
Parenting a child with autism is a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster of emotions, of love, of off the wall stuff we don’t share and sometimes a loop de loop.
It’s up, it’s down. It throws you in circles and then lifts you back up again only to drop you on the next loop.
It is in constant motion.
The rollercoaster doesn’t stop just because you are scared and need a break….it keeps going.
Within this wild ride you have stages. Getting on the coaster is scary.
What if everything is too fast or I can’t handle it? I have never ridden this before, what do I do?
The anticipation of the climb to the top. The fears, the worries, the anxiety. What if I can’t do this?
The drop. I can’t handle this. I wasn’t made to ride rollercoasters. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The end. Oh, well that wasn’t so bad. Let’s go again! I can do this!
To me, that’s Autism.
It has highs and lows, the curveballs.
It has the moments I think my head might explode then the next second I’m laughing hysterically.
It’s a giant climb to the next milestone only to be dropped 50ft instantly with a new behavior.
It’s scary sometimes. It’s uncharted.
My son’s autism is different than your child’s. You can give me tips about the ride but you haven’t been on mine yet and vice versa.
Support is important.
When you decide to get on a scary ride, you want your person with you. You want to hear from the people getting off the ride to know what’s it like.
If you’ve met one person with Autism then you’ve met ONE person with Autism. Our rides are all different.
The hardest part for me is relationships outside of my son. I think because our lives are so scheduled and routine that when something goes off track I almost take on his behaviors.
Anxiety, worry and elopement.
So to explain what it’s like I simply say, it’s our little rollercoaster of love.
I have no clue what the ride will bring or if I will even survive it (hahah) but with each turn and twist, I find my strength.
With every drop, my son gains momentum and maturity. Every person who gets on our ride learns patience and love.
Even when the ride gets scary and I think I may not be strong enough to handle the next turn…..there’s my sweet boy laughing with delight.
Jump on the ride. Put your seatbelt on. Take a breath and hold on tight.
Learn to love the ride even when you think your heart may give out from fright.
Take each turn and loop in stride. You’ve got this. Use the adrenaline and fear of the unknown as motivation.
Share your story with those around you.
They may not be on the Autism rollercoaster but they may have their own ride they want to open up about.
Sharing your story could help someone else with their fears.
Be Kind.
Written by, An Anonymous Mother
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Finding Cooper’s Voice accepts guest posts from writers who choose to stay anonymous. I do this because so many of these topics are hard to talk about. The writers are worried about being shamed. They are worried about being judged. As a writer and mother I totally get it. But I also understand the importance of telling our stories. And this will ALWAYS be a safe place to do it.
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