Having ‘That Child’

This is an open letter of sort to those that say that they could never deal with “that child.”

You hear a lot about people saying they could not or would not have “that type of child.”

Let me tell you about “that child” and those that love and care for them.

That child has a heart bigger than most.

That child has been through more than most “typical children” in a short period of time.

That child has had to go through more surgeries, tests and invasive things than some adults in a short period of time.

That child has had to grow faster that most because they have to deal with adult things at an early age.

That child has had to give up more child like fun than other kids because they can’t do it medically or physically.

That child does NOT want your pity or sympathy. They want your friendship and understanding.

That child’s parents and family dedicate their lives to their child because they ARE their voice when that child can’t speak because they are too weak.

That child you so badly don’t want to have as your child may not do things the way healthy kids can, but please know that they do it the way they can. And you know what they may or may not get there but they tried!

While you are asleep in your bed snuggled down, that child’s parents are getting up several times a night to check on their child, or sleeping so lightly in case “that child” calls out.

That child does not see themselves as different, and when you really think about it, don’t we teach our kids to not see people as disabled and to not stare or make rude comments about how they look or act?

So, why would you see that child as something so horrific and say that you would never want that type of child?

I got news for you…the parents of “that child” see you at the same emergency room and you know what…at that moment in time, YOU HAVE “that child.”

You have that same worried look on your face we do, that stress from lack of sleep, from not eating much because your child is sick.

The only difference really is the parents of “that child” know that a simple cold or flu can in some cases end their child’s life.

What are you going to do when your healthy child becomes “that child” because of some accident or life change that is out of your control?

Are you going to forget about that child?

I highly doubt it. You will join the rest of us and quietly weep when your kids are asleep so they don’t see you. And put on a brave face the next day and wear that mask we all do….

So, before you make those rude comments about how you never could deal with a “child” like that, think before you speak because we do hear you and it hurts worse than you think to hear that.

Especially when “that child” hears you and they ask “Mom, is there something that makes me so different that people don’t want to be around me?”

So, take a lesson from what you preach to your own children and stop thinking that child is so different than yours, because they really are not. They just come in different packages.

Having said all this I wish you the best in life and hope that this may open your eyes a bit more about “that child.”

Written by, Mamma Hellcat

I was the mother of a child on the spectrum for 14 wonderful years. Everyday an adventure and full of surprises. Lot’s of up and downs and learning experiences. Almost a year after she passed from cancer, I am finally coming out of my shell and talking about our experiences.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.