Missing Out
You’re missing out.
Parents of special needs kids say this in their head all the time. At least I do.
You’re missing out on having her read all but a few words.
You’re missing out on giggly girl sleepovers.
You’re missing out on having her on middle school honor roll.
You’re missing out on her excitement from passing the driver’s test.
Prom. College, moving out. Wedding. Children.
So many things to feel bad about missing out on. Milestones and rites of passage that just don’t apply in your situation.
But you can dwell on this, or you can enjoy the amazing things others may be missing out on by not having a special needs person in their life.
You may be missing out on the complete joy after your 18 month old finally figured out how to climb that one step to the landing, and the laughter when she realized had nowhere to go once she made it up that stair.
You could never get to see a human being that works their absolute hardest day after day, week after week to climb those three steps to the slide, and the satisfaction and pride on their face when they finally make it to the top.
You might have missed out on watching someone grow up who doesn’t understand cruelty. They have no knowledge of deception, jealousy and all the other negative qualities that other people have to work so hard to steer their kids away from.
You get to miss out on that teenage phase when parents are stupid and have no idea what their teen is going through. You are their person now, just as much as you were during their younger years.
They think you hung the moon, and they love you unconditionally forever.
You would miss out on how fun it is to be around someone who enjoys the little things with a complete sense of awe and wonder all the time!! A dollar store toy is amazing, exciting, precious.
Families without special needs people in their life miss out on going to a sporting event unlike any other.
One where the athletes greet each other, regardless of team, with laughs, smiles, and hugs. One where everyone gives their all every play, every time. Where every hit, strike, catch or basket is cheered for by all the fans – of both teams.
While a good play may be celebrated by a quiet arm pump and a whispered “yes” elsewhere, here there is a whoop, a victory dance and many high fives from members of both teams. There is no comparison here, because everyone is so different.
Some people are concerned with the score, but virtually all are thrilled just to be there to play.
Being a special needs parent means the lows are very low, and missing out on the major life milestones are hard. But the highs are also so very high and the accomplishments and wins are second to none.
Sometimes it’s hard to miss out, but sometimes you realize that others are the ones who are missing out.
Written by, Kathleen Rolloff
My name is Kathleen. I have an 18 year old daughter with severe special needs due to meningitis as a 6 week old. I also have a 13 year old with ADHD. Things are never dull around here and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
