Include Us, Too
When you talk about your children and how you are feeling relieved because they just met their milestone after all.
When you talk about how, “easy” your new baby is and how great of a big sister their sibling is.
When you gossip about so-and-so whose son might be delayed.
When you talk about those things knowing that I have a disabled child…
Right in front of me….
As if I do not exist…
As if my child does not exist…
You NEVER ask about her. None of you.
When you talk about your son and all his accomplishments. His new karate belt. The cute way he plays with his friends or the crushes that he might have.
When you worry about something as mundane as nap time or binki preference or him simply being shy.
When you talk about the Zoo or the mall or that amazing store you took your boy to.
When you talk about your High School kid and how he lost the game.
When you laugh in relief at how silly you were for worrying.
When you tell me you’re worried because she is not walking yet. And when you tell me that she is walking!
When you talk…
When you all talk….
Please know…
My kid can’t throw a ball. My kid does not keep her tongue in her mouth. My kid does not turn.
OT, PT, ABA…my child alone in a corner stimming.
When you talk….
You treat me like I don’t have a child, too.
When you talk I am busy rubbing my eyes from the lost sleep, the constant worry. The anxiety and the loneliness. The heartbreak.
When you talk I want to tell you how strong my kid is. I want to tell you what she is up against.
I want to tell you that you know nothing about it. I want to tell you the amount of hours of therapy my kid goes through. You know nothing about it. And you are so lucky.
The weekend? My daughter had therapy.
I know it is not your fault but when you speak about your child and pretend that mine does not exist, you kill me.
Please be mindful. Please be kind.
Please include us, too.
Written by, An Anonymous Mother
Finding Cooper’s Voice accepts guest posts from writers who choose to stay anonymous. I do this because so many of these topics are hard to talk about. The writers are worried about being shamed. They are worried about being judged. As a writer and mother I totally get it. But I also understand the importance of telling our stories. And this will ALWAYS be a safe place to do it.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
