I am the Lucky One
I get to see and hear the world through his eyes.
We dance to our reflections in windows. We twirl to music.
We lay on the ground just to feel the carpet on our cheeks. We laugh at a sneeze or a hiccup. Over and over again.
We make funny noises. We run. We roll. We don’t care what anyone thinks.
We laugh. Only his laugh is way better than mine. It’s the best noise I have ever heard. Deep from the belly.
We eat cupcakes. But only the frosting. Because that’s the best part to him.
We throw sticks in the woods. And rocks into ponds.
We endlessly pick up handfuls of sand only to let it slide through our fingers.
We pull over on the side of the road to look at cows. And tractors.
We love Christmas lights. And Christmas Trees.
He sneaks a taste of bubbles and snow. And laughs when I make the YUCK sound. Only to do it again.
We hunt trains together on Sunday afternoons.
We gasp at the mention of a swimming pool. We throw monthly birthday parties just to celebrate being alive.
We think Thomas the Train is real. And that some day we will visit Sodor.
We hold hands. And I know we will forever. Even when he is a man. I know in my heart he will never be too old for his mother.
I hold him after he falls asleep, once he has finally tired for the day, and I breathe in his hair. I’ve always said he has the best smell. It’s like the wind. I joke it’s because he is always moving.
On really great days, he holds my face with both hands, and stares so deep into my eyes I think for a brief second he is going to say something. I hold the stare as long as he will let me. And in those moments I pray for his happiness. For his joy. For his safety. I pray that I am enough for him.
And I remind myself to slow down. To not rush out of fear or stress. I remind myself that he is the exact person he is supposed to be.
And that I was meant to be his mother.
He is my person. And I am his.
I am the lucky one. Because I get to see the world through his eyes.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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