What Autism Gave Us
Autism is the most perplexing thing ever. The saying “when you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” couldn’t be any more true.
The way it manifests in every child differently.
The way it can break your heart by watching your child struggle with what would be the simplest of tasks to a typical child.
They way it isolates you from the rest of world. It can make you feel so alone.
The regressions it causes. It can make you feel hopeless.
Autism can be a pretty difficult thing.
The emotions that come with autism can be pretty perplexing as well.
I can’t help but think off all the things we will miss out on as he grows up. The things I dreamed about the entire 9 months I carried him.
The things I would dream about while rocking him at night holding him tight after a late feeding.
So many dreams gone. I feel like autism took a lot away from us.
But you know what Autism gave us?
Jordy. Our beautiful, brilliant, unique, Jordy.
Although it doesn’t define him, it is a huge part of what makes him, him.
Watching my son grow up and his personality flourish, it has inspired me so much.
My child lives his life without any cares or concerns of what others think. If he loves something, he truly loves it with all of his heart without any bias or opinions of others.
If he doesn’t like something, he expresses that without any concerns.
He dances and sings whenever his heart feels like it, even if it’s in the middle of the grocery store. He could care less about what others think.
He just lives his best life every day. And that to me, is beyond inspiring.
Jordy is the most unique, beautiful soul I have ever met. He lights up every room that he is in.
His smile is contagious. His laugh infectious. He is one of a kind.
And I am lucky enough to be his mother.
I’ll never forget the day we were officially diagnosed. We knew for a long time before.
It wasn’t a surprise. But hearing those words out loud. Wow.
I don’t remember the drive home. I just remember pulling into my driveway and the ac was on.
It was in the middle of winter and 30 degrees outside. I drove an hour home without realizing it. So many thoughts were running through my mind. I made myself a promise that day.
I would always try and find the positives in our situation. It’s the only way to keep pushing forward.
Autism may have taken a lot of the dreams we had envisioned as parents away, but now we have different dreams. And that’s okay.
I’m learning to find the beauty in that.
I dream that he will be happy. Which is he is. He is the happiest kid you will meet.
I dream that we will live in a world where he is accepted. Truly accepted and understood for the beautiful soul that he is.
I dream that he will flourish and reach his greatest potential, no matter how big or small that may seem to someone else.
Different dreams, different expectations, but we are happier than ever watching him flourish, even if it seems small to others. You see that concept there?
Autism gave us that. We appreciate the small things.
We have learned to truly stop and smell the roses.
I wish I could view the world the way that my son does.
I pray that one day I can have more understanding as to how his mind works.
Autism can be hard. It has many heartbreaking sides to it.
Some days I dwell on the hard things. I let myself cry. I let myself feel heartbroken. I tell myself this isn’t fair.
My child shouldn’t have to struggle.
I let myself feel every painful emotion. But I don’t let myself live there.
I promised myself I will always try to find the positives and lessons through every obstacle in our journey.
Life has handed us some interesting circumstances. But we will take our lemons and make something resembling lemonade.
This is our life. Our beautiful, complicated, life.
Written by, Kimberly Spicer
My name is Kimberly and I am the mother to a beautiful 4 year old boy named Jordan (Jordy) who is on the autism spectrum. He is a higher level two on the spectrum, almost a level three, and is verbal but mainly has repetitive speech (echolalia). We talk about our journey at Jordys Journey on Facebook and @jordysautismjourney on Instagram!
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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