A Teacher’s Message to Parent’s of Autistic Children

Often I read real life stories of what life is like for parents of children with Autism. As a teacher who works with children with AU, I would like to say I am here for them too.

To the parents that trust me with their most prized possession for 6-8 hours a day I am grateful to you.

I am grateful that you trust me, that you support me, that you can see when progress is made (and when it is not, because that is even more important).

I wake up every day excited to go to work, excited that I will have students that will have a “light” moment when they understand something new, put together something new or just say “Hi” for the first time.

We read, we do math, we sing and dance and cook and wash.

It is a family, maybe not blood family, but a family nonetheless.

I want to tell every parent that I understand what you are going through. I know that the screams and bites and throwing items happen at home too.

I know you are tired and are hoping that the next day while your child is at school I will take responsibility for your child for seven hours so maybe you can go do grocery shopping without tantrums and people starring at you.

I know that there are days when you cry and days when you feel blessed that your child is special because of the unique things they do.

I chose this job because I care, because I believe I can help make a difference in your child’s life.

I did not choose this for the money or fame or no stress.

What I would like you to know is that I am a human being too.

I would like you to know that I know that you love your child most in the world but also to understand that your child is not the only one in my classroom and I need to give equal time to each.

If only you could take a moment to see me as someone who deeply cares for your child but also has other problems in her life and that early morning and late-night texts are not OK unless it is an emergency.

I hope you can understand that “Jimmy” forgot his lunch bag today was because I had 3 students screaming and one biting at the end of the day and not because I was careless about your child.

I know that visuals are must but if one day of the week I forgot to check off one picture on the visual, that should not mean that I don’t care but that I probably had other things to deal with.

When you ask me, what do I do all day if your child accidentally got scratched, I wish you would come spend a day in my class.

I am a teacher, a nurse, a psychologist, a speech therapist, dean of discipline, counselor and anything else that your child needs that day.

I wish you see me as human, a mom, a woman who might be dealing with same issues you are: disabled child, divorce, health issues, Yes, I know when I come to work all those other issues should be left at the door, but do you turn off your worry about your child just because they are at school?

I want to do this the best possible way because I really care, but I also need understanding and support.

I should be your best friend not your enemy.

I should be the one that you call to ask how to do we make goals and objectives together, so you can support what I do in class at home, not come to the ARD and scream at me for not doing things for your child.

I know you want me to prepare your child for transition and I will do my best, but it takes support from you as well.

Please do not undermine what I do at school, support me when I tell you that your child understands right from wrong (those who do) and needs to have some type of consequence.

Please do not use your child’s disability as an excuse to get them out of the consequence because the world they encounter when they are adults (when you might not be there) will not understand or unfortunately care that they have a disability.

Help me make them into the most independent individual they can be, so they don’t end up arrested for hugging strangers or asking too personal questions or getting into people’s personal space. I am your co-captain not your enemy.

I am here, I am always here, stop by, schedule a conference, ask questions.

I will do for your child everything I can but please remember I am just a human and a mom too.

Written by, A Special Education Teacher

*This letter is not intended to judge anyone. Most parents are very supportive and understanding but this is what I wish I could say to each one. I have been a Special Education teacher in Texas for 8 years.

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.