A Mom to Two Only Children

I’m 7 months pregnant with my second child while sitting anxiously with my husband and 17 month old child in a waiting room of a speech and food therapist office.

Every time the door opens to the waiting room I can feel my heart racing faster, and then Zachary’s name is finally called.

An hour and a half later our very first evaluation is over.

I’m left feeling more empty in my car then when I came into the office there. It’s hard to rationalize and almost defend your child for the things that they are supposed to be doing at that age but are not.

“Does he have any words?” No. “Does he point?” No. “Does he wave ‘hi’ or ‘goodbye’? No. No. No.

That was the first of many tears after an evaluation or doctors appointment.

We didn’t get a diagnosis that day but we did learn how grossly delayed Zachary was for his age, and how much bigger this speech delay was for him.

The three of us went to the pumpkin patch afterwards. My husband constantly chasing Zachary every where and my pregnant self trying to keep up.

I’m in a field full of pumpkins with lots of busy families feeling so alone.

Lost within myself.

Who knew Zachary needed so much more and would we be able to give him more with a newborn on the way?

How did we get to this point without seeing it so much sooner?

Zachary is now a thriving 4 year old, with non verbal Autism and apraxia. Landon is a neurotypical 2 year old.

Of course my life isn’t what I had planned or spent day dreaming about when I was younger.

However, I think most people can say the same. My life though is so much better than what I had thought in that pumpkin patch 3 years ago.

It’s certainly not easy. I often describe my life as a mom of two only children.

The contrast between them is seen right from their different hair colors, brown and blonde, to their demeanor; cautious and bold.

A typical day in our house consists of Zachary having ABA at home, and myself trying to entertain my 2 year old in the other room. Literally, two different lives going on under one house.

Although, Landon is only 2 years old, he already seems wiser than his age.

I see him look out for Zachary, the way I look out for him. Landon will go above and beyond for his older brother.

He loves to make Zachary laugh and will bring him his favorite toys or items to make Zachary happy.

When Zachary is crying, Landon will bring him is communication device or his favorite snack to try to cheer him up.

Landon has a persistent personality, which at times can be trying on a mom of two toddlers, but I’m always reminded how grateful I am for his willingness not to give up on Zachary.

Every day Landon tries to play with Zachary and Zachary doesn’t always reciprocate that back. Then there are those moments that my two children are really playing with each other.

Zachary is engaged and wanting to play with his little brother.

Those moments truly look and sound like magic. I think to myself any other neurotypical child might have given up on my autistic child by now.

How many times can Landon be rejected daily, only to come back to Zachary and try to play with him again?

I don’t even know if as a child I would try as hard as Landon does.

My children are gifts from God, but Landon was a gift specifically for Zachary.

They are the best complaints of each other. Zachary has learned far more from his younger brother than any other therapist, teacher, or even us, his parents could have ever taught him; (like what cabinet mom and dad hide the candy.)

Written by, Melissa Owsiany

I’m a nurse, wife and mom to two wonderful boys Zachary, who has autism, and Landon.

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