An Open Letter to Moms of Special Kiddos

Dear Special Needs Moms,

I see you at the grocery store, the town office, the parking lots, the pediatric office, the WIC office. I know you are everywhere.

I see you with those dark circles under your eyes.

I see you with that calm and frazzled expression.

I see you trying to hold your child and those big feelings together because the meltdown is coming for your child, or you ( or both) but you are in public.

I see you celebrating that moment the world missed because they didn’t know ( like my Jon who kicked a ball for the first time at age 4, yes we bought the ball).

It is easy to find you in the crowd, because we share that look.

I am willing to venture that you probably own more pajamas, or athletic clothes (yoga pants, sweat pants, pj’s with pockets) then dress clothes.

I am willing to bet that your circle of friends is small enough you can count them on one hand.

I am willing to bet I could probably find you online in a parent group for your child’s diagnosis.

I want to tell you, that you aren’t alone.

That when the days are dark, and long, someone out there has been in similar shoes.

I can tell you it is okay to celebrate those milestones that have been long awaited, it’s okay to want to throw a party because Jon at 4 learned how to kick a ball. I can tell you this, because I feel it to.

I can say this because I am you, and I have been there too. Just like I know about those late nights.

The late nights when you stayed up too late just to have some you time, even if all you do is watch tv and eat those special treats for days when life just sucks and you just need that pick me up. I have been there.

You ever have a week (or two, maybe three) where it had been so long without a shower you don’t even remember what body wash is yours? I have too. You know those special clothes you never get to wear but still take up space in your closet?

I know that sometimes you put them on for NO other reason then you want to feel pretty, I do it too. Haven’t left your house without a child, or to run an errand in so long you forgot how to talk to adults? Been there too.

Momma, I know the days are long, and sometimes the nights are long too. I know it’s hard to keep in touch with friends.

I know sometimes we all have that moment when we shut and lock the bathroom door, and cry for five minutes.

Momma, I see you. I want you to know it will be okay.

I want you to know that you are not alone, even on your darkest day. Someone out there feels the same way.

I know it’s hard to put on that smile and go on, but you will. Put on that dress, and wear a tiara, call it princess dress up day. After that thunderstorm goes, and it’s just sprinkling out, go jump in the puddles.

Take a moment, a long moment, a short moment, five minutes if its all you can spare, and do something just for you.

Reach out to that friend, and say hey I miss you. Call your mom, say Mom can you watch the kids for thirty minutes because I can’t remember the last time I showered.

Do something for you, because Momma, I see you.

I see the real you, and you are beautiful. You are loved.

I appreciate you. I admire you.

I think you are a good parent. Momma, I see you and you need to see you through my eyes too.

Lovingly,

A Special Needs Momma Too

Written by, Jessica Bowen 

Mom to three boys, from teenager to toddler, I got it covered. I am fluent in IEP meetings and a child advocate. Mostly, I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and song lyrics. I write about our life, the journey with my boys and their diagnoses, and writing about my own diagnoses. Welcome to the land of Chaos, please enjoy tea time with us.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.

This post originally appeared on Passed Along with Love by Jessica.