Archive for January 2019
Will He be Ok?
As I was drinking my coffee snuggled on the couch in my PJs this morning, I looked at my sweet little boy buzzing around collecting all of his wooden puzzle pieces in his upside down drum. He noticed me watching and smiled for a split second before he went back to his “work“. I said to him, “I love you buddy.” He replied in his broken word approximations, “ah uv too”. It still makes my heart melt. Several months ago I wondered if I would ever hear those words from his…
Read MoreWelcome to Autism Island
When we walked out of the doctor’s office that morning, it felt like we had walked off of a plane at an unexpected layover on foreign soil. The world looked differed here. The air felt heavy and my husband seemed fine…like he knew where we were. Maybe because he’s been here before with his son. But this time, there was no connecting flight back to our old lives. It feels like we just stayed here and started our new lives, so welcome to Autism Island and wherever your journey may…
Read MoreI’m Not Lonely Anymore Mama
The decision to have a third baby was huge for us…as it is for any family. A third baby is a lot. Plus, our boys were 7 and 5. Did we really want to start over? Midnight feedings, lugging a car seat around, and nursing. Our living room wasn’t filled with baby gear. We had no bottles or diaper bags. And, to address the elephant in the room…one of our boys has autism. He needs so much more all the time. More patience. More therapy. More one-on-one time. More everything.…
Read MoreThis Life of Autism
Dear Chloe Elizabeth, From the time I was old enough to dream about what I wanted to be when I “grew up,” I dreamt about being a mommy. A year after your Daddy and I married, we knew that starting our family was going to harder than what people made it seem. After two years of fertility treatments, many doctors appointments, medications, needles, tears, and prayers we stopped trying. We were broken. Mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually. A few months later the desire we had for a family was still…
Read MoreThank You Dad
I want to thank you, dad, for everything you have done to give me, and my sister, the best and most stable life possible. I know you gave up a lot for us, even if you don’t say it. We know. I know my rare disease of 22 q deletion, that has autism along with it, has presented itself with it’s own set of problems, along with losing your wife when your children were fairly young. I have heard you fight for us. I’ve heard you struggle to not put…
Read MoreA Boy and his Baby Brother
Oh how far he’s come. 14 weeks ago he refused to acknowledge our new addition. He had never touched a baby. Never held one. Honestly, never acknowledged one. We’ve worked in it every single day. We started slow. Eased into it. A wave. A smile. A quick touch. A hug. A kiss. And we built up to this. Today, he’s holding him, hugging him and kissing him. With a 20 second count of course. This kid is amazing. I have so much hope for their relationship. https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/344747129459436/ Interested in writing…
Read MoreThe Never-Ending Cycle of Adjustments
Often I think life is so unfair. Why did my child get autism and virtually no one else I know has a child with it? My son was diagnosed with autism at 2 years 10 months, right before he was about to age out of First Steps, Kentucky’s early intervention system. At the time, I was pregnant with my second son and scared to death my baby would be diagnosed eventually with autism as well. I was one of the “lucky” ones, though, I guess, because he was identified early…
Read MoreDreams Change
“When he is older he will be grand”, “he’ll grow out of it”, “ah you would never know looking at him”. Just some comments that are frequently said to me about my little boy. The reality is people just don’t get it. When you become a parent, you dream of doing so much with your little baby as they grow. Trips to the cinema, out for ice cream together, trips to the beach, or just out for a walk holding hands. I dreamed of all of these things too. I…
Read MoreThe Day Everything Changed
April 20th, 2017. This is a day I will NEVER forget! A day I had waited so long for but dreaded at the same time. Today was Jaxon’s evaluation day! We woke up that morning and my stomach was already in a knot but we got ourselves ready and dropped our older son Dom off at school. Our appointment was for 10am and I was determined to be early. I told myself I wanted to just get it over with because I already knew what was coming. I had already…
Read MoreA Letter to My “Typical” Son
Dear Eli, You are such a blessing to our family. You came into this world as a teeny tiny miracle. You arrived 6 weeks early. Those first few weeks were so hard. I ached to have you home. The house felt so incomplete without you there. Since the day you came home, you became mommy’s baby boy. You were a miracle in so many ways. Not only were you our little preemie but you also were our first child that was typical. You made us so happy with every word…
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