My Dear Friend Sally
Hi Sally
Yes, that’s your real name. You are a real person. A middle aged woman.
Honestly, it’s easier for me to respond to you when I think of you as a human being. A real person with thoughts, feelings and emotions.
A grace that I’m not sure you granted me. I also won’t share your last name.
This group of special needs parents is pretty fierce. When I share your comment I’m sure many of them will want to hunt you down and comment on your perfect life.
I’m going to save them the hassle though. You aren’t worth it Sally.
On Friday night I shared an absolutely beautiful photo of my three boys.
Cooper is 8. Sawyer just turned six. And the baby is 15 weeks. They are three of the cutest kids you will ever meet.
They are my whole entire world.
In the photo, they are eating ice cream together. Which is a pretty big deal in our house.
Jamie and I have devoted our lives to our children. To giving them their best life and meeting their unique needs.
Bringing them together is very important to us. Something we encourage daily.
If you could hear the conversation you would hear sounds of laughter, negotiating for a bigger bowl, squealing (mostly from the baby) and talk of trains, farts and the birthday party we would be attending the next day.
Sawyer is pretty excited. He loves his friends fiercely. He loves parties even more.
And every time we say the word birthday, Cooper cheers. He loves birthdays. In his mind, birthdays are the absolute best thing.
We were also choosing the movie for movie night. Friday’s are movie nights. It’s a pretty big deal in our world.
We chose Hook.
But you didn’t know any of that. You also didn’t know that Sawyer and I eat popcorn and snuggle and laugh.
You also didn’t know that for the second week in a row, Cooper decided to join us for movie night. This is huge.
It also means I got to snuggle this one for longer than one second. This never happens. See how content he looks?
Friday was a pretty big night in our world.
You saw my photo of my three amazing kids. You must follow my Facebook page. Or you are a passer by. Or maybe someone shared my post. Who knows.
I wasn’t really checking comments on Friday night because I was parenting. And enjoying my life.
So, I didn’t see your comment until Saturday.
I want you to know that you win.
Of all the comments I’ve received…and let’s make a guess of how many. Sometimes 5,000 a day. For nearly two years. That’s a lot of comments. Most are lovely and sweet. Almost all are supportive.
Some are mean. Some are evil
And then your comment. One wrapped up in a pretty little package. A comment that would come from a narcissistic mother. One that pretends to be caring. And loving. But is actually purely vile.
You win.
And again, that is hard to do. I’ve had comments calling my son the R-word. Saying I’m the worst mother alive. That I’m an embarrassment. That I’m better off dead. Blah, blah, blah.
All easy to ignore. But this one.
You attacked below the belt. Not only did you imply I’m a mother who’s damaging her children, you commented on my kids well being. Their looks. Their health.
You called my kids sad. You said the baby looks sad. My beautiful 15 week old baby who laughs all day long.
You actually went there. In 2019, amidst the anti-bulling movements, you had the balls to talk about the bags under my kids eyes. Like they weren’t attractive enough.
Not that it needs to be said…these kids are all joy.
My house is full of laughter, noise, chaos and humor. Neither my husband nor I find time to attack children online. Why? Because we are raising happy, healthy children. Three of them.
A kid who yesterday at the birthday party noticed that a friend was sad. And told an adult. And the mom thanked me.
Do you know that every day I wake up I thank God for my life. My beautiful, busy, chaotic, full life.
I’m not sad. Not in the slightest.
And honestly, the saddest part Sally…is what if my son was sick? Or sad. What if he had bags under his eyes not from being a busy kindergartner who plays hockey and has endless playdates, and instead was ill? Which he’s not. Why would you ever point it out? You are heartless.
The saddest part about all of this is that you get to see my beautiful kid’s faces. You don’t deserve that honor.
You my friend, win. Congratulations. You found the bravery to attack three small children online.
That takes a special kind of person.
Please come forward to accept your prize. But first, you must read your comment out loud to my face. And these three will be listening.
Sincerely, Kate
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Kate
It’s me, JoJo. I have been following you for quite some time. I care for challenged young adults. I LOVE my job!
This is me Kate, JoJo standing here, in my room, just read your reply to Sally. And I am clapping, loudly, so loudly, my husband came in to see what the hoopla was about. You go girlfriend. Sally is sad, really really sad! And God is good.
Dear Kate, you are a beautiful person inside and out. Your family is beautiful inside and out. I do not have a special needs child however I look forward every day to your posts as you are faced every day with hard things yet you stay real and true to yourself and your family. The haters are only that haters. They are sad individuals who pray on those that are strong. They do not deserve one millisecond of your time and energy. They want you to respond and they want to get you angry. Your kids are lucky to have you and Jamie and it shows in every post and certainly in every picture. I catch myself laughing out loud at some of your posts. They are so inspiring. Sally must be one sad individual and I feel sorry for her. Thanks Kate for opening up your world to help others. You are an inspiration!
OMG Kate, my blood is boiling. This person is a real sick person. She must hate herself, her family and everything in her life. How could or would she ever say anything about the boys? They are the sweetest, happiest and gorgeous kids. I’ve been watching since the beginning and I love all three of them to pieces and would give anything to meet them and love on them in person. Being mean to them, are you kidding me lady? Leave the site if Kate doesn’t block you and keep your mouth shut. Kate and Jamie give their entire being to their children. They are full of love, happiness and dedication to help their family but also other families especially families with children on the spectrum. This is my favorite page on FB. I love Kate and the boys…She is real and positive and tells it like it is. She doesn’t sugar coat her life which would be so unfair to other families like hers. I don’t want to bash you, but boy I pray you are not a friend of mine. You disgust me. Love you Kate.
Dear Kate,
You do look tired…tired like a busy Momma to three beautiful boys. Tired like a busy young Momma, trying her damnest to be a special needs advocate, a toy fixer, soccer cheering , breast, or bottle feeding Momma…
Wear that proudly…you totally rock it!
Your boys to me, a Nana, look happy, well adjusted, and so very loved. If you one tells you today…..
Your doing a great job!
Kate you are an amazing mother, I am the grandmother of a non-verbal autistic 4 yr old. Just having him a weekend here or there is exhausting but at the same time it’s the biggest blessing God has ever given me. Unless 1 has walked in your shoes they will never get it! You keep doing you because you’re doing an amazing job. Ignore these fools who try to attack you because they’re miserable with their own pathetic life!! I look up to you & I admire you as a mother & a strong woman!!!! Hugs & kisses to you & your beautiful family!
I think you should share her name. I would love to reach out to her… lol. I would be nice, I promise.
Kate, you are a wonderful mother, you and your husband are great parents, and it is very clear to anyone who has ever read your blog that your children are loved dearly. The years you’ve spent advocating for Cooper, the effort you spend on making sure that Sawyer has moments to be carefree and explore his interests, and how darn cute and roly poly Harbor is are just a few of many examples of how well these boys are cared for by you and Jamie. The joy that shines through all of your sons eyes in every picture that I’ve seen shows they love you as well.
Hi Kate, I have been following you for quite some time as I am also a specialneeds mom. My 7 year old daughter has Down syndrome! I have had some people leave some nasty comments on my YouTube channel but have had people say some really nasty things to my face! It is so much about their own unhappiness. I look at that picture of your boys and the first thought I had was how cute they were and how wonderful it is that they have each other to grow up with. You are a wonderful mom and special needs parenting is exhausting but worth it and you show how worth it is everyday!
My mom always told me, “those who are hurting, often try to hurt others.” I’m so sorry that Sally felt the need to hurt you.
I’ve followed your blog for quite some time now and I admire you. Your beautiful children are loved, and Sally can’t change that.
This is so true- I think of it often:hurt people do hurt people. It’s a cycle of abuse you can call it. Narcissism also is a very real set of personality characteristics. I’ve known a couple narccistic moms in my motherhood journey and man when they bite it’s usually in the jugular- scary! Ultimately I truly feel sorry for these people bc they are deeply insecure and empty inside.
Ps- my two youngest kids have bags under their eyes too bc their skin is so light in the dead of winter and also genetics. I am well rested most of the time and slap on so much undereye coverup it’s not even funny lol
To dear Kate, my name is Tracey and I have never left a comment on anything on the internet before but reading your reply to that nasty piece of *#&@ called sally lighted a fire inside me. I have a 7 year old daughter who has autism and adhd and you do not know what your page has done for me and my daughter. You inspire me to be the best possible mummy to my daughter and her brother. You have covered all the emotions I have felt as a mother to an autistic child and made me feel it’s ok to feel these emotions. Your children (all 3 of them) are beautiful and the only thing they look in your photos are loved, content and joyful. Keep doing what your doing with your gorgeous head held high. Love from the uk.
Tracey
Dear Kate— Say it louder for the people in the back so that all the people who think it’s ok to mercilessly pick on children can hear you. Hey guess what, Kate? My 18 month old has bags under her eyes. Winter is cold in Michigan and she didn’t nap very well. Oh and guess what? My 18 month old is sad because I won’t open the snack cupboard for the 20th time today. You’re amazing, Kate. Keep doing you.
And Sally, you can go. Bye girl.
Dear Kate,
I am a 64 year old mom of an adopted child ( adult now) with development disabilities. Neil had many behaviors when he was younger, so it was very hard for me to take him out into the community. In order for me to help him learn I had to get tough skin. I learned that if I allowed other people’s words, comments, action it affected me. My skin grew tougher and my Son grew stronger. It took a long time… But it happened. There are so many people out there that don’t have appropriate filters. We all have our own ideas and views on raising children, unfortunately there are those that feel their way is best. Pick your battles Dear Kate, spend your energy on your beautiful family and not those who judge and have no idea what your doing its not worth the energy. There is no reason for you to have to defend yourself, you are not doing anything wrong and what you do is always in the best interest of your family!
I am retired now but I have worked in this field for years. I managed an independent living program, In Home services for Children for years. I do have a lot of knowledge about the system, waivers, school/work programs etc. working out of Hennepin County. If you ever have any questions please feel to contact me. If I don’t have an answer I will get an answer or Referal.
Keep strong Kate. Your family is absolutely beautiful, and certainly a gift from God.
Kathy
Hurting people, hurt people. Don’t believe her lie and let her steal your JOY. To be offended is our CHOICE.
“Forgive her Father, for she knows not what she does.”
Excuse my french but that lady can go to hell! You have a whole army of moms standing behind you. What does she have? A keyboard and a sad life. If you revealed her name we would harass this woman to no end! But you know what? We have more important things to do! Ignore the trolls Kate! She is jealous of your life and has low self esteem, and that is the only takeaway from her comments.
Constructive criticism? Does she even know what that is? Because that was not it. Kate, you are beautiful. You’re boys are adorable. You are a rock star! Your page is my favorite. I worked in a special needs preschool for years before I had my own kids. I have a couple kids with sensory issues. One was thought to be on the autism spectrum but has Now tested out. He still however struggles with many things. Motherhood is hard and beautiful no matter what your story is. Your page is a wonderful place to come and be better informed about what autism is like. It’s very educational. It has even helped my children become more aware of people we have come across out in our community who have special needs. We love your boys. You keep it up!! You are changing the world.
What a sicko Sally is. I’m sorry that she is so intent on destroying other women who devote their hearts and lives to their babies.
I’m so sorry that you and your family were attacked in this cowardly manner. What in
the world is wrong with her? Why would she go to your site just to spew venom? I
Wonder what happened in her life that made her feel the and act the way she does?
My grandson is Autistic, He is 5 1/2. He brings me so much joy, He works so hard 5 days
A week with Kindergarden and the 2 hours of ABA. He is starting to say words, and sometimes two words at a time. He is just now being potty trained. He and his sister stays with me from Monday afternoon until Wednesday morning when I drop them off at school. He sleeps with me and I love it. My granddaughter sleeps on a twin bed next to us. This buffoon that wrote that to you must be miserable and lonely if this is her normal behavior, I mean really, who would want to be around someone like that?
? My grandson’s name is Elijah ?. Kate, I look forward to your blog. I have learned so much. YOU ROCK, and you are very much appreciated.
Kate, there are just some people out there who find joy in bullying other people. She is probably pretty damn proud of herself for getting a whole post devoted to herself. They don’t care who they hurt. Their own lives are so miserable that they can only find happiness by seeing other peoples’ pain. It is obvious that you have 3 healthy, amazing boys and that you’re an awesome mom and she knows and sees that, too. She just can’t handle that for whatever reason and decided to bully you to make herself feel better.
I wish I was the Green Arrow. I’d go vigilante on her ass.
Kate you are a AMAZING Woman.. You have struggled through Hell and Back with Autism… I am a True Follower of yours,I CAN’T Even put into words how much you have moved me in your trials & tribulations of coming to grips with life in your world…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T Let Ignorant People Get You Down… I pray for you and your family all the time..Stay Strong… God Is Good
She’s a TROLL Kate! A hateful miserable person who I’m sure searches for websites like yours and says the most vile nasty things she can think of. Your children are beautiful and you are a wonderful mother don’t give this TROLL another thought.
Dear Sally. Just want to let you know that there’s alot of people who follow Kate, Cooper, Sawyer and Harbor and she’s an awesome mom and these kiddos are wonderful, beautiful, and happy!!!! So, just SHUT UP!!!! If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all . Karen Deville (protective Gammi)
Wow! Some people have absolutely no class. I do not have a special needs child, but I read your posts and watch your videos and I am nothing but amazed and inspired and in awe of your strength and the thoughtfulness with which you attack each problem or situation put in front of you. Your boys are beautiful and you are an amazing Mother! As you know, do not listen to someone who obviously has nothing helpful to offer! Keep doing YOU!!!