I Wasn’t Scared of Autism
I wasn’t scared of autism; I knew all about it. My brother has autism and he’s a happy, odd, 30-year old dude living his best life.
So, when my son was diagnosed with autism, I was saddened that he’d have obstacles but I was also hopeful that he would find his voice like my brother had.
I assumed that our family would rally around my son and be there for him as he finds his own path; I see now I was being naive.
When my son was an infant he was quiet but very happy and giggly. He was the first grandchild in our family so needless to say, he was spoiled rotten.
It was easy for my husband and I to sneak off for date night because there were a slew of eager babysitters waiting in the wings. He was adored and he adored them in return.
We have a lot of family members that live within 40 miles of our home. We are not only a family close by proximity; we love to be around each other which means Thanksgiving is a boisterous, raucous party!
As with most parents of a newborn, my husband and I spent my son’s first Thanksgiving trading off between socializing and checking on our baby who was sleeping in a secluded bedroom away from the noise and wine.
We spent his second Thanksgiving in the same location, although at age 1 1/2 years old, the infant sleeping in a darkened bedroom had grown into a toddler rocking back-and-forth to sooth himself due to the excessive noise.
Various members of our family would pop their heads into the bedroom where we sought refuse, asking if they could bring us anything and give our son a high-five.
As infancy gave way to toddler-hood, my son met every milestone regarding physical development, but he didn’t speak.
He rarely babbled. Never sang. He seemed more interested in jumping off of the stairs or chasing the dog than humming a tune.
Months passed and other babies were born – still no words. My son’s verbal deficiencies were becoming too obvious to ignore.
He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. No one was surprised.
Post-diagnosis, we dove into therapies that were unknown when my brother was diagnosed all those years ago: early intervention, speech therapy, occupational therapy, an intensive ABA program … the works.
He was thriving; always the happy kid, adventurous, cleaver and curious. But due to his very limited communication skills, I started to notice some family members discomfort around him.
My son was rarely acknowledged; he wouldn’t be greeted with “hellos” when he walked into a room, no one would ask him about the toy dinosaurs he treasured with every fiber of his being.
The offers to babysit became less and less, invitations to birthday parties were lost in the mail. They didn’t know how to give him a voice so they let him disappear.
My Ah-Ha moment came on my son’s 4th Thanksgiving.
Nobody came into the room to say hello. No high-fives.
That was 3 years ago. Since my Ah-Ha moment things have gotten much better.
My son’s communication abilities continue to progress and our family has worked very hard to understand my son and his autism.
My husband and I will always be my son’s biggest cheerleaders…. but it helps when the crowd cheers him on too.
We’re getting there.
Written by, An Anonymous Mother
A note from the author: I am the mom of a 7-year old son who is super smart, goofy, pensive, a tad bit devious, and he has autism. I’ve never blogged before but the older my kiddo gets, the more I seek out other mama’s experiences in raising a kid with autism. I’ve gained so much insight from these shared stories, the least I could do was share my own.
Finding Cooper’s Voice accepts guest posts from writers who choose to stay anonymous. I do this because so many of these topics are hard to talk about. The writers are worried about being shamed. They are worried about being judged. As a writer and mother I totally get it. But I also understand the importance of telling our stories. And this will ALWAYS be a safe place to do it.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.
