Our 2018 Year in Review

A year ago we had a different life. We were living in a different house. We had two children…not three.

Cooper had just turned seven. Sawyer had just turned five. And we had just found out that we were pregnant.

This site was smaller. I had 60,000 followers on Facebook. Then I had a super viral video.

I received my first round of online bullying which opened my eyes to how ugly the world of the internet can be. And today we are 430,000 strong.

Cooper had six months of ABA Therapy under his belt. He was thriving in so many areas.

He had started eating a variety of foods, using the toilet, drinking water and using a cup. But along with that he was eloping from our house. Stripping beds. He was struggling with hoarding, a photo obsession like no other, putting everything in our bathtub and forcing us to sit in the dark.

He was also learning to spell. We made a goal that he would learn to type short words not really knowing if he’d be able to achieve it or not.

At the same time, our family was struggling as a whole.

We were feeling the isolation terribly. We couldn’t really go anywhere and our neighborhood had no kids for Sawyer to play with. Weekends were long. Winters were awful. We felt trapped in our house.

We made it our goal to change that. We joined a church. We found care attendants to help with Cooper. We signed Sawyer up for T-Ball….which Jamie decided to coach.

And we even moved to a new neighborhood full of kids. A neighborhood full of young families. And a park.

We started spending time outside. We opened up our doors.

We watched Sawyer make friends on day two and grow up overnight. He rode his bike from dawn until dusk. He played tag and baseball.

We made friends too. We started socializing.

We introduced autism to our neighbors.

Cooper became a little celebrity. He’d walk down the street and neighbors would yell out…’HI COOPER!’ He’d give a wave and keep on walking to the park. Always focused on his destination.

He’d meltdown. Get up. And we’d go again. We became part of a community.

We had found our village.

In July we started medical cannabis and it has been life changing. Cooper’s awareness sky rocketed. He joined our family more. He started interacting, laughing, dancing and being silly. (LEARN MORE about our journey with medical cannabis.)

We started venturing out, very slowly, into our community. We made trips to Walmart, Home Depot and Target.

And then baby Harbor arrived. He was born on October 9, weighing in at 8 lbs, 7 oz.

https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/1932980700337447/

We were so nervous about how Cooper would do. We agonized actually. Would he be scared of his crying? Would he be able to be near the baby without fear?

We just didn’t know.

Well, Harbor is 3 months old and we have never once had a problem. All of our very real fears have subsided. Cooper is learning to love his brother. Having Harbor is the best decision we ever made.

Cooper also learned to be excited about presents, birthday parties and Santa which has been very fun.

https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/2092735254143349/

Sawyer stared kindergarten and hockey. He’s made amazing friends who have become staples in our home.

This year had many ups and downs. Successes and regressions. We rode the roller coaster of special needs parenting…sometimes just holding on for dear life.

But overall, when I look back, I am amazed at how far Cooper has come in one year. And how strong our family has become.

Cooper came alive. He started interacting and enjoying life. And we started enjoying him even more.

Many people think that the journey is mainly about your child. They are diagnosed. They have autism. They need to grow, learn, change, and thrive. But that’s not entirely true.

The journey is just as much about you as the parent and the rest of your family. You all need to adjust to autism. You all need to grow, learn, change and thrive.

Our family has gotten stronger because of autism. We’ve came together to give this little boy his best life. We are all on the same page. We all have one goal. Help Cooper.

It wasn’t like that in at first. We weren’t there yet. We had different ideas of what Cooper’s best life looked like.

I think that’s part of the journey. Coming together.

2019 is going to be all about utilizing what we’ve learned, trusting the therapy, and continuing to push and motivate Cooper.

Here are a few of Cooper’s biggest victories in 2018 (Age 7):

• Expanding his diet even more to include pizza, lasagna, spaghetti, peanut butter bread and other foods.
• Learning to say ‘mom.’ WATCH NOW!
• Spelling hundreds of words.
• Picking out clothes that he wants to wear.
• We believe that he can read some sentences as well.
• Using his speech device fluently…even typing sentences.
• Memorizing his address.
• Wearing headphones and noise canceling headphones when necessary.
• Started wearing shorts in the summer. (This was a huge victory!)
• Swam in the kiddie pool every day in the summer…and played with all the neighbor kids.
• Sleeping in his little brother’s room
• Having his first kid birthday party and doing amazing.
• Sitting near his new baby brother and eventually holding him for a few seconds at a time.
• Tear free haircuts!
• Self soothing with sensory breaks.
• Started medical cannabis.
• Lost his first tooth….and four more since then.
• Starting opening presents, loving birthday parties and Santa!

Looking back…Here were a few of Cooper’s biggest victories in 2017 (Age 6):

• Number one victory: Cooper is potty trained!
• Eating fruit, meat, fruit pouches.
• Drinking water.
• Using a straw and then drinking from a cup.
• Smiling for pictures.
• Pulling up pants.
• Putting on a coat.
• Carrying his backpack.
• Putting on shoes.
• Wrestling with his brother.
• Watching a movie with his brother.
• Communicating fluently with his talker.
• A visit to the dentist.
• No more Miralax.

A lot of his biggest behaviors from 2017 carried over to 2018. But many of them also ended.

• Lining up chairs. (ENDED)
• Putting stuff in the bathtub. (ENDED)
• Hoarding. (INCREASED)
• Obsession with pictures. (SLOWED DOWN)
• Turning the lights of.f (ENDED)
• Closing the curtains. (NEW)
• Stripping beds. (ALMOST ENDED)
• Mouthing objects. (paper, fuzz, hair, Nerf Gun Bullets)
• Humming.
• Screaming in protest. (NEW)
• Manic laughing (NEW)

Our goals for 2019

• Help Cooper with his extreme anxiety.
• Sitting calmly out in public.
• Less technology time.
• Swimming lessons.
• Riding a bike.
• Going to a restaurant.
• Walking safely on a sidewalk.
• Watching his brother play hockey. (HUGE GOAL)
• Playing a game with his brothers.

And most importantly, enjoying every second we can with Cooper. Finding the joy. Smiling at the chaos. And accepting realistic hope.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.