Did You Know?

Right now, someone is playing charades,
A child, wide-eyed, his voice upward inflected,
A voice, but not words,
His every desire affected.

Did you know every word,
Out of every girl and boy,
Is not a given, it’s a gift,
It’s a little piece of joy?

Have you heard the screams ringing in your ears?
A longing, disguised in sound.
The weight of his need to be known,
Bringing his whole body to the ground.

Have you felt your frustration tremor just under your love,
And wondered when the ground would crack?
Your own rage and acceptance running a race,
And the finish line keeps moving further back.

One in – what was it?
One in 100? One in 68?
One in 59.
One in.

Wait.

That depends on the state.

The state of your mind,
The state that we’re in,
The state, and the country,
And the place we begin.

Did you know that for some,
Repetition is a drug?
That comforts and calms,
And replaces a hug?

Repeat and repeat,
Can’t break the habit,
Winnie the Pooh this time,,
So he says, “I like you, rabbit!”

And his laughter and his smile,
And his eyes really do,
Translate his words,
Into roughly, “I love you.”

But the spinning and spinning,
Jumping off tables,
The darting away,
These require labels,

Translation: I feel,
I need to feel,
More,
Now less.

Boy, this is a mess.
What what WHAT do you need?
How is it possible,
That we both have to plead?

And still get nowhere,
No, I don’t need a hand,
I’m just waiting for the world,
To finally understand,

Do you know if he’ll need me,
For the rest of his life?
Will he drive a car, get a job,
Fall in love, get a wife?

Will he still be in diapers?
Will he get dressed on his own?
Will he have a way to tell me
When he feels hopelessly alone?

Do you know if it’s okay to feel sad?
If so, for how long?
Is it okay to celebrate,
When so much is so wrong?

Did you know that he’s better?
Better than you.
That’s right I said it.
He needs more help, it’s true.

But his love is so fierce,
His ego so bare,
Of this present moment,
He is only aware.

That’s transcendence,
Pure pain, pure elation,
Did you know this is why,
There’s no easy translation?

From his language to yours,
And so on it goes,
It would take a lifetime to learn,
What he already knows.

Written by, Nicole Simmons

Nicole is a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of two beautiful children: a four year old boy and eight year old girl, living in NJ. She enjoys writing, reading and crafting whenever possible and is taking this special needs parenting journey one day at a time.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.