Meeting Maya

I’m a mother of three amazing humans. But as a divorced mom it wasn’t always easy.

I’m proud to send them out into the world and know that they will experience all of its wonders. I worked hard on being what they needed.

As the story goes, I was living my life for them…the time put in was well worth it. And believe me twenty years goes by very slowly yet they grow so fast.

All my babies have flown the nest. I guess it’s bittersweet my new found freedom.

Dating was hard. I had three children regardless their age. Most men didn’t want that responsibility and I couldn’t blame them.

Not that they would have had to parent along side of me. But I guess just sharing what little time I could spare with them was too little.

And let’s face face it, my world was a little hectic at times.

So, I found my new relationship when my youngest was 17.

It’s true what they say, you spend the first part of your life raising babies then the second part finding yourself again.

I knew I would run into men with children of their own.

Fall in love and spend the days of a no curfew mom, sipping wine and traveling to places I’ve never been. My ideal life was going to be some of my well deserved years for surviving the challenges of motherhood.

But what happens when you fall in love with a parent of a special needs child.

Some would say ‘challenge accepted.’

But would you?

I’ve read and researched all the special needs sites for answers. All the stories of parents whose children so unlike mine that struggle for the greater answer how to live the best life now.

Everyone is born with challenges that they will face in life. Some small, some great, that which we all can relate. So much to take in and the fear is overwhelming.

While they the parent had years to go through the emotions of this life altering challenge…I got a total of 6 months to alter my world for somebody else’s child.

I felt heartless at times and looked down on myself for being so selfish.

This was a new fear and a love unimaginable.

Meeting the kids of the one you love should be a great bonding experience when it comes to blending families. But what if that child can’t communicate. That’s a game changer.

But that’s when I met Maya.

A child without words with so much to say.

I now face a new chapter in my book. Finding a new love is scary and wonderful all at the same time.

I always knew there would be struggles along my journey. But I have faith that I’m right where I am suppose to be.

I always was a fighter for my children. When the world pulled, I would push.

I’ve learned that with Maya I want to push harder. I want to fight for her.

I want to give her all the experiences this crazy world has to offer. This child who came into my world at the age of six has taught me a lot about myself.

Without a single word.

So, here I was on the road of raising a young one again. Although our time would be limited through the weeks.

One thing was for sure…it would be forever. Forever parenting.

I was new to this kind of motherhood. My past experience did not prepare me for this kind of adventure.

So, I guess in the beginning I was a bit aggressive toward her parents about how to raise Maya. I had the best intentions considering this was going to be my life too.

Communication with my new partner and Maya’s mother would have to be very open. I mean how can I juggle all this.

A new relationship with a man I’m totally crazy about. Making a life with a special needs child. Building a relationship with his ex wife.

There were moments when I had to tell myself just breathe.

In all my three years with this brave little girl, I have seen so much of my children in her. At times Maya’s disability is not seen in my eyes.

I see all the roller coaster emotions of a nine year old girl. Nothing more. The wants, the needs, are all the same.

Yes, she isn’t as independent in her years but she is in her mind.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve failed her.

Is this the life she wants or all she’s grown accustom too. I believe she wants more and will have it all.

Like I said, I will fight for her and in return she is fighting for me too. I hope when she thinks about her life’s journey, she has amazing plans.

For after all, I’m sure in the beginning I was scary for her too.

So, for all the people dating the parents of special needs children/adults, please remember…It’s OK to feel overwhelmed.

You’re not alone.

Enjoy the journey love has brought you. I know I am.

Written by, Jennifer Cupito

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.