Our Weekend in Five Photos
Taking photos of my beautiful boys and crazy, wild life is one of my favorite things to do. Part of me wishes I would have became a photographer. Photos show our life in a way that my written words never could.
Super Cooper celebrated his eight birthday at school on Friday. He brought cupcakes and they had a dance party.
I can’t even tell you how much it means to me to get photos sent to me of him enjoying his day. When you have a nonverbal kid, you typically have no idea what goes on in their day.
Yes, if you are lucky you get a sheet of paper home that tells you when they went to the bathroom, what they ate for lunch, and what they worked on. But, you rarely get to know how they felt.
This photo melts my heart. Seeing him so happy. Makes me overjoyed.
Once a week we take Sawyer to do something outside of our home. We do this because having a brother with severe autism can be suffocating. We do this because giving Sawyer time to be a kid, outside of our home, is very important for development.
This week we took him to get a haircut and out for dinner. I can’t even tell you how carefree he was.
While we are gone, Cooper gets to spend time with one of his two Personal Care Attendants, or PCA’s. He enjoys it very much. Both of the wonderful women that we hired to be part of our family love Cooper.
Hiring people was a big decision for us. It was also very hard to find people we trusted. But now, it’s amazing.
We typically have PCA care 10 hours a week for Coops. It’s been a blessing.
I saw a comment the other day on my Facebook page that said…’why would you ever consider having another baby?’
First, I will never get used to people asking such rude, bizarre questions. But I also understand that I am living my life on social media and nothing is off limits. I also realize that people have no filter.
Second, our decision to have another baby was not a decision we took lightly. We discussed it until we were exhausted. We fought. We cried. We talked about the possibilities of this baby having autism. And what that would do to us. And look like for our family.
But ultimately, we chose to grow our family by one more.
And it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Harbor is a complete and absolute joy. I honestly don’t even remember what life was like before him.
And the best part? Sawyer’s devotion and love for his new brother.
Every morning the first thing he asks for is Harbor. When he returns home he immediately hugs him. He holds him constantly. He talks to him. Snuggles him. Loves him.
Their relationship is everything I dreamed of…and more.
Cooper had a weekend full of anxiety. One of his worst actually…ever. I find myself saying that a lot lately. His anxiety seems to be getting worse.
I spent a good chunk of Saturday night just holding him. He needed calm. And comfort. He needed his mom to make everything feel better.
Today, I am calling his doctor to ask about medication to help with his anxiety. In a way I feel like I am giving up. Or like I failed.
I didn’t though. This is just the next step to giving him his best life.
I feel sad about it though.
This was a long, long weekend with moments of sanity and joy. This was my favorite moment.
Two out of my three boys snuggling on my lap for one second of silence. The biggest and the littlest. Seeing them both in a picture means so much to me.
It took Cooper six years to warm up to Sawyer. It only took him 52 days to warm up to Harbor. Thank God.
The one thing about my son’s autism is…there is no day off. No break. It starts right over at 4:45 am every single day and goes until 9 pm that night. I’ve always sorta marveled at that. At its consistency.
With Sawyer, after a busy day, or a hard day, he sleeps. His body recharges. He rests. And starts fresh.
Cooper never rests. He’s back at it the next day. It almost feels like a continuous stream. I find that be to be so exhausting as his mama.
I never get to recharge.
Like I always say…’Anyone can handle a hard day. Or even a few hard days. But eight years of hard days in a row gets to a person. Remember that. There are no breaks.’
Anyhow, he’s happy and smiling and loud and energetic. And of course hungry. It’s back to school today.
Have a fantastic week all!
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.
Kate please don’t let these people who make negative comments discourage you. You guys are awesome parents and you have an awesome family
You are one of the most inspiring people I have ever encountered (not actually encountered but non the less). I am a nurse on a oncology unit and I encounter many many courageous people daily. You simply amaze me how strong you are (yes I get it you probably get tired of hearing that as you wish you DIDN’T have to be so strong). Your inspiration truly does change the lives of many, just know that. I am sure you wish you had a “non inspirational life” at times and a plain boring one as it’s a tall order to fill. You make me want to be the best person possible when I read your stories or watch your videos. Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life.
Why other people ask? Choices make us a great country and individuality makes us the families we love! Your family is a joy to see all the love within it! Thanks for sharing so others can be more accepting of our differences.
Z has the same snowman blanket 🙂
Hang in there!! You are a wonderful mommy!! I am so happy you have been able to share your story. What a ministry to others. You are an eloquent writer and I love your honesty. Keep your chin up! Little by little you will unlock the mind of your precious Cooper!
I have been following u for a while now n seeing all ur ups n downs ur an amazing mom. Others would have given up on the whole family by now. N Jaime ur support system u both will prosper in this that we call life. Everyone has their own issues in life n urs are w a beautiful family a little different but a beautiful family none the less. Continue fighting cuz in the long run as long as ur family as a whole is happy that’s all that matters
You are doing a fabulous job. Look at that beautiful smile Cooper has. I have nithing but love and respect for your family
I believe God brings children into our lives for the betterment of a family as a blessing and to bring us closer to Him. Weather the child has a disability or an impairment in no way reduces the value of that human life. It doesn’t detract from the value of that life to their mother father and siblings either. It’s independent of our opinions or suggestions. I support families who want to add more children and you are a fantastic mother Kate. Bless you this Christmas and New Year ?
Kate, I have been following you for several months when I came across your site by accident. I am a grandmother raising her grandson now adopted since the age of 3 1/2. Zane is Autistic , verbal with epilepsy . He has severe cognitive regression due to the seizure disorder. Zane has always had extreame anxiety but his also has aggression which progressed as he aged. Zane is 14 now. Things got much worse but they also get better with age as well. I had no one like you to talk to and felt very isolated. The video you did about the time you took Cooper to the park and the slide I experienced myself. I would panic every time we passed a park.
You make me happy. I have done this now for over 10 years. When my son died I took all the children they are all special needs. I had them for two years then my daughter in law and son adopted Zane’s brother and sister. Look me up on Facebook get in touch with me I can validate your feelings all day long. Listening to your Videos is what has gotten me through the last couple of months. Please never stop posting. Thank you.
Kathy
I have been a follower for a year now, but never commented. I just wanted to say that I’m glad you can let the comments roll off your back. Siblings, in my opinion, are one of the biggest blessings you can give a child. My MIL’s second son is severely disabled (intellectually and physically, though I have never been told what his actual diagnosis is). She had 8 more after him. They had each other’s back, and they have his back. He will never be alone because there are so many people looking out for him. None of them are resentful, and they are not unique among large families I know (where one member has a disability of some sort).
God bless, and congratulations on your new little blessing.
As a severe anxiety and panic attack sufferer myself, meds are a gift. The gift of peace. The gift of calm. The gift of feeling like me. Anxiety is terrifying znd debilitating, I would not wish it on my greatest enemy. Many people thing it can be controlled and that medicating is a sign of weakness….I view medicating as strength. I was strong enough to ask for help and take help to live my best life ❤.