To My Husband, My Daughter’s Advocate

Saying that I am ‘thankful’ for you, my husband, doesn’t quite feel right. I am thankful, but I am much, much more. I am indebted. I am awed. I am overcome.

You are our most valuable resource.

Shortly after receiving our daughter’s autism diagnosis, without much discussion and no hesitation, you agreed to quit your job. You said, “I want to do whatever is best for Stella.”

You never wavered.

I’m sure that staying home with her and driving her back and forth to therapies all day, six days per week, wasn’t your dream job. Waiting in waiting rooms and doctor’s offices and explaining behaviors to therapists probably wasn’t what you’d planned to list on your resume.

There aren’t a lot of dads in the waiting rooms sometimes, I see that, and it must feel foreign and maybe sometimes lonely.

I know the drives aren’t always pretty.

Between snow and ice on the roads in the wintertime and a toddler screaming her lungs out in the backseat, this probably wasn’t your ideal commute. But I have yet to hear a complaint.

When I come home from work, you’re right there with us, helping with her bath, making her dinner, swinging with her to keep her calm, putting her to bed, and telling me about her day.

Sometimes you ask if I need a break. I can’t imagine how much you probably do. When my patience is gone, you reach in and find more for the both of us.

But much more than that, you love that little girl so deeply. Her joy is your joy. Her successes are yours.

I see it on your face when she learns something new or overcomes a fear.

These are my favorite parts.

I also know that you feel scared this diagnosis will tear us apart.

I know that your happiest point of the day is when we both can collapse on the couch together after she’s gone to sleep.

I know sometimes I don’t understand what you went through during the day and you have no words or energy left to tell me.

I know that when we said ‘for better or for worse,’ we never really imagined what some of those ‘worse’ moments would look like, or that we’d see them so soon.

I know sometimes you wish you could go back to work.

I know this wasn’t how fatherhood was supposed to be. But I also know that the progress our girl has made would not have happened without your commitment and unwavering love.

I know I don’t say it nearly enough, but my husband, we are thankful for you.

Written by, Annie Suhy

Annie Suhy lives in Cleveland, Ohio with her husband, Steve, and their only daughter, Stella, who is 3.5 years old and was recently diagnosed with autism.

(Editor’s Note: This article was provided by Anny Suhy and is part of Cooper’s, ‘I’m Thankful For You’ Campaign.)

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