December 3, 2018

Once Again, I Go Numb

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A few days ago I received some validation. Validation I didn’t want to receive.

And as I processed it, I realized how numb I must really be to all the emotions that go into special needs parenting.

Every time I chat with a 7 year old boy or listen to a 2 year old speak in full sentences. Or watch my 5 year old growing up, achieving every milestone and becoming more independent.

Or when my autistic son yells at me and melts down repeatedly. I must be numb.

And in a way, I think it’s a defense mechanism. It’s how we make it through.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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4 Comments

  1. Diedre Morris on December 3, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Thank you for this video. My son doesn’t have autism but had a traumatic brain injury at 7. He’s now 18. I find I have to be numb. Daily life can be so hard. The ups and downs. Then friends who’s children are getting their licenses, doing college visits and planning their futures. Our son will never live independently. Guardianship was just processed in court last week. Steps parents never expect for their children. I’ve been numb for a week. Today during your video I cried finally. Someone who understands. Thank you!



  2. Iate on December 3, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    Thank you for your brutal honesty. I’m pretty numb myself here with a 3 yr old low functioning non verbal autistic toddler. Some days the truth is just too much to bare for me and other days I crack jokes about the situation because it’s another way to cover up my pain.



  3. Jenna on December 3, 2018 at 9:38 pm

    I’m not numb yet. But I wish I was. This is such a painful progression. And were still waiting for a formal diagnosis. I’m watching my son slip into autism and theres nothing I can do to stop it.



  4. Sarah M on December 5, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    This absolutely rings true. I go through periods where I feel EVERYTHING and plummet, and there are times where being numb is helpful to get through the day, the week, the whatever. Thank you for your honesty and your vulnerability. I come to this blog often for reprieve. BTW, I also feel the same about visual schedules in our home. To me, it almost feels like succumbing to my fears. I have been putting them off for years, but we are now at the point where I believe they need to be incorporated even though I have a resistance to them. You’re not alone. Take care!