Thankful for my Son’s Second Family

Have you ever prayed so hard for something and when God answers your prayer it is the opposite of what you expected. Then when you look back it was the biggest blessing that you ever experienced?

I remember the day so clearly.

It was a beautiful Friday in August. We were on our way to Green Bay to celebrate Chad’s nephew’s birthday.

As our car was pulling out of the driveway, my phone rang. It was Katie, one of the supervisors at WEAP. She was calling to say that they would no longer be able to provide therapy services for Brayden.

She expressed that she thought it would be best for us to find another company to teach Brayden. This came as such a shock.

I felt as though all the air was being sucked out of the car. I didn’t understand.

I begged and pleaded for her to change her mind. Yes, Brayden’s gains were slow but ABA therapy was his best chance of learning.

Terror filled my body as the tears poured down my cheeks and the sobs shook my body. I thought, “I had prayed so hard for direction in how to help my son, God, this is the answer I get? What now?”

Where do I turn? I started to jump down the rabbit hole of hopelessness.

How was I going to teach my son?

That was the longest weekend as I googled, researched, and left messages at potential companies. No one understood the extreme distress and despair I was feeling.

I felt that in this ocean of autism my life raft now had a hole and was filling with water. I was suffocating. I dreaded the meeting the following week.

Katie and Brittany showed up on Monday. I felt so empty, lonely, and hollow.

I had contacted other therapy agencies. They were not taking new clients. I felt as though I had failed my son.

At that time, at age 4, I was still living in a fantasy that we were going to “beat this.”

As we talked, WEAP explained that his gains had been so small over the past two years despite numerous approaches. I had no idea what they were talking about. I thought he was following the learning process.

Then out of the blue Katie said, “what if I try teaching him?”

I felt my heart leap.

Someone that saw the potential that I did. She wanted to help. I quickly said, “yes.”

I watched Katie work with Brayden over the next few weeks. I saw the connection that the two of them had.

The energy, enthusiasm, and excitement that Katie displayed with Brayden really touched my heart. She quickly identified major issues. The fact he didn’t respond to his name, “stop”, and “come back” quickly became her focus.

She developed programs to teach him imitation, routine, and play skills. She understood the importance of incorporating the “talker” (his IPAD/voice) into all the programs.

For the first time I felt hope

Step two of God’s plan. Kari, miraculously had just finished his master’s degree and had come back to work with WEAP.

Katie quickly added him to the team.

I remember one day he said, “I just drive in my car thinking of ways to help Brayden.” Kari adapts programs, listens, and is a great advocate for Brayden.

If I ever need someone to attend a meeting, bounce ideas or concerns off of he is always there. He puts up with my random texts and crazy mom notions.

I can tell in a moment the connection that Brayden has with a person. It is almost as though people give off an aura.

Children with autism can connect with you in a way that “typical” children can’t. They have a way of looking into your soul and making a connection with you.

A connection that has no words. It is the way they guide your hand, allow you to touch them, or snuggle in tight. They lead you in directions with their eyes and speak to you without using words.

As a parent you need to understand their world. A world that changes on a day to day basis.

What is ok one day might not be the next

A noise, sound, or texture can cause ear covering, eye closing, and head banging. The spinning and high pitched “EEE” alerts the world that something is not ok.

Brayden sees people in a way that you and I don’t. Katie was always watching Brayden’s body language, behaviors, and his engagement to select team members that would be a great fit.

Step 3. Then Katie brought in Abby she was working on her special education degree. She had a brand new baby and a heart of gold.

Her soft voice and giant smile drew Brayden in. He really aims to please if he likes you. She incorporated lots of physical play, obstacles courses, and matching. She “tricked” him into learning “first, then” and some basic imitation. Abby was with us for about 18 months. She left us to practice teach.

Although she is no longer an “official” weap staff anymore she will forever remain on Brayden’s team. She periodically checks in to see how school and therapy are going. Asks about the struggles, gains, and accomplishments. She is more than just a therapist she is a friend and resource.

There are few people in this world that I trust Brayden with.

In order to qualify I often joke that you have to be a track star in the 100 meter dash, part ninja warrior, and able to defuse the “Brayden bomb” before it explodes.

So when Kelli was introduced to our team I saw God’s plan come full circle.

Kelli is an angel that has fallen out of heaven and to top that she lives in our small town. Our kids are in school together however I am not aware that we had ever met. When we do attend a school function she is the first to approach Brayden and get a hug, smile, and high-five. She can read Brayden, anticipate his need and knows just how hard to push him.

One day Kelli looked at me and said, “until you love him as your own you will never get anywhere with him.” She comes daily and brings different snacks, toys, games, and music that she thinks he may enjoy.

She is always racking her brain about what programs we could add. I know that I can always count on her and trust her completely to care for Brayden.

So here I am with a fully staffed ridiculously qualified team.

Staff that cares for Brayden not only as a client, but because they truly care about him as a person.

Looking back I can see God’s hand weaving through Brayden’s life.

What I thought was the biggest tragedy turned out to be the biggest blessing

Thank you WEAP staff for never giving up and always giving us 100%. All the gains that Brayden has experienced are because of your dedication, hard work, and perseverance. You mean more to me than you will ever know. I have come full circle.

I am panicked at the thought of not having WEAP in Brayden’s life. I am scared about who will be there to advocate, direct, and support me.

You are more than just Brayden’s therapists you are my friends and the only ones that truly understand my struggles.

Thank you for all you do. Your kindness with forever be imprinted on my heart.

Written by, Laura Eiler

Laura is the mother of five and shares their families journey with autism at A Day in the Life of Brayden.

(Editor’s Note: This article was provided by Laura Eiler and is part of Cooper’s, ‘I’m Thankful For You’ Campaign.)

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