When the Differences are Noticeable
When my autistic son was two and three I remember thinking….at least he can blend in. He’s so cute that no one will ever know he is different. Or that he has autism.
For some reason that mattered at the time. I think it was a comfort thing.
Now, he is almost eight. And he yells, runs, rolls, crawls, flaps, eats anything he finds on the ground, and so on. He has licked strangers. He has eaten snow of stranger’s boots.
It’s now apparent to me that we will never blend in.
Cooper is who he is and the journey as his mom is being okay with that.
https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/1933262936980045/
Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.
Our adorable, big brown eyed, curly haired girl is 38 now. She looked like any other three year old. Facial features have changed over time. The wheelchair isn’t tiny and cute anymore. Sometimes she lets out a really loud squeal showing us how happy she is feeling. Anywhere! We love it and it makes us laugh. She thinks it’s funny too. Brat! Occasionally she will choke because she can’t always get the saliva down the right tube. As if everything else wasn’t enough to make people stare that one always gets them. Our one wish is that she could talk. Where does it hurt? Does your tummy ache? Headache? Hot? Cold? Always a guessing game. I can’t tell you how much we love this girl. I spent several years fighting with myself. Cursing God. Angry that my first born child would have permanent brain damage. No walking, skipping, riding a bike, etc… I can’t remember when it happened but I quit fighting and being angry. I accepted that this is how she will always be. I felt so much better. Calmer. Happier. The anger still rears it’s ugly head but I let myself feel it free of guilt. My husband didn’t go through that. If he did he didn’t show it. Sure, he was sad that what we thought was going to be was gone forever. I see his eyes fill with tears still. He has a special bond with her and she with him. Oops. I got a little off track! I’m so proud of our family. Her two younger sisters and dad. Back to the subject. Before my cousin’s daughter had a baby not born with autism but it developed later, I would see or hear kids in a store that I thought were brats. Why didn’t his parents DO something?? My kids would never get away with that! The invisible disabilities have to be much harder than seeing a kid in a wheelchair. It’s obvious to everyone. People don’t know about all the different levels of autism. Don’t understand why that kid is laying on the floor screaming or just laying on the floor in the middle of Sam’s. Without carrying a sign saying, “Autistic” people will still stare and judge. It’s human nature. You have reached so many people with your honest posts. You give that feeling of – I’m not alone in this or YES! That same thing happens to us or I feel the same way too! You are one mom reaching out to so many families. Thank you, Kate and Cooper.