Love Needs No Words

“Don’t worry Sadie, you can hold your ears, I’ll always be here to help you.” These were the words I overheard my five year old Max say to Sadie as I was walking past the bathroom.

She was holding her ears and needed help with her pants, without hesitation Max helped her and continued on giving her step by step instructions on how to wash her hands. He’s the brother that never wants to see her upset, he’ll step in to tickle her or make her laugh until she’s forgotten what she was upset about.

He’s the brother with an unlimited amount of patience, when I’m worn down from the day, he steps in without being asked.

He’s the brother that loves fiercely and unconditionally, he loves his family, his friends, and most of all, he loves his sister Sadie. He listens to her therapists tell me about her day and then wants a recap when we get in the car in case he missed something. He would never hurt her or fight with her.

They’re relationship is different than most, it’s everything I could ever ask for, yet it’s nothing like I ever imagined. There’s no picking on each other or tattling, no fighting over toys or who ate the last Oreo.

There’s no arguing over what movie we’ll watch or who gets to play with the newest toy first. This is far from a typical brother-sister relationship, they love each other in a way that not many get to experience.

It’s a love that goes beyond words, a deep, protective, go to the ends of the earth for you, kind of love.

I’m the oldest of three girls so needless to say, there was a lot of talking and playing going on in our home growing up. This is what I pictured as I held my 11 month old girl and my newborn baby boy. How lucky they are to be so close in age, they’ll be the best of friends.

They’ll play and ride bikes together, they’ll build forts and have “sleepovers” in each others rooms. There will be an endless amount of chatter going on throughout our day, and when we put them to bed at night, after bath time and prayers, I’ll be ready for some quiet time.

As time went on, I realized that this wasn’t going to be our life.

I would have never dreamed that my kids would never really play together, they would never do all of the things that my sisters and I grew up doing together, and the hardest part is, they would never have a conversation with each other at the age of six and seven. This is what it’s like for so many families that have a child with autism.

There’s no way to see this coming so you can’t prepare your heart or your mind for this new life.

There are days where the silence is deafening, what I wouldn’t give to hear them playing in the other room together or even fighting over a toy. In a sense, Max is like an only child, he doesn’t have a playmate or a sibling that he can tell all of his secrets too, I’m that person for him.

A few months ago, I really started to notice how my niece and nephew interact with each other and play so well together. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the fact that they’re so close in age to mine or maybe because their relationship is what I thought a typical brother-sister relationship should look like. Whatever it was that made me notice that weekend really hit me hard.

I so desperately want that for my kids, but at the same time, I know that’s not the life that God gave us and only He can see the bigger picture.

At the end of the day, I want my kids to love and to feel and be loved by each other, and there’s no shortage of that in our home.

Love truly needs no words.

Sadie lights up when Max walks in the room and I’ll catch her staring at him when he’s being silly, the smile on her face says it all. She’ll say “I love you” to him when she’s prompted to do so, but I know Max feels her love in so many other ways. He’s her best friend, her teacher, her safety net, and the one she knows will always love her more than life itself.

As different as this is from what I had imagined, I’m so thankful that God gave me two of the most precious little ones that have taught me so much about life and love.

Written by Courtney Whitehead

I’m Courtney, mom to Sadie and Max. Sadie is my beautiful, full of life 7 year old with Autism and her little brother Max is her biggest fan and advocate. I started blogging about our journey at Definitely Someday.

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