My Son, His Sister’s Protector

As my children grow, I have watched their sibling relationship start to evolve and take shape. Some days I sit back and observe them, in awe, amazed at what a perfect match they are.

Other days I am playing referee and constantly breaking up arguments. I know arguments are a part of any relationship in life and siblings are no different.

My children are complete opposites, and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My son Daniel, who is 22 months old, is your typical almost two-year-old boy. He loves dirt, trucks, playing outside, and is an animal lover. Cats are his favorite animal on the planet. He is calm, loving, and sensitive.

He adores his older sister and meticulously watches everything she does in hopes of being just like her one day. He learned to walk at ten months old so that he could keep up with her fast paced, constantly on the go lifestyle. He holds her hand and leads her to the toys he wants to play with, and most of the time she plays along.

These days they are pretty much inseparable.

She teaches him her latest gymnastics moves and how to properly play with dolls. She helps him to be a “big kid” at the park, which gives me a heart attack at times.

She is the first person he looks for the second he wakes up and the last person he hugs every night before bed.

Some days I almost forget the fact that my daughter completely ignored my son and his existence for the first six months of his life. She was in her own world and was oblivious to the fact that she had a brother and new lifelong best friend.

Then slowly as she learned to speak and became present in our world she began to notice her brother and see how fun having a sibling can be. She started to thrive in her role as Big Sister. It was no longer just a saying on her shirt.

She would help and bring her baby brother toys and blankets and even share her dolls with him. It brought so much joy to my mama heart.  Then when Chloe turned three we moved cross-country and she started full day Pre-K.

Daniel wasn’t too happy at first and had to adjust to having her gone all day. I know he really missed his partner in crime, but enjoyed having me all to himself as well.

Then, thanks to the military, a year later we moved again and Chloe had to leave behind all her friends and start over again. I am so thankful she had her brother by her side through this huge transition.

She relied on him for fun, entertainment, and socialization until she made new friends. While the move really strengthened their bond, it was also the cause of regression and extreme anxiety and frustration for Chloe.

I watched as my happy four year old struggled to navigate her way through summer in a new environment, while greatly missing her friends and teachers back home. She would have tantrums that I am sure could be heard by our entire neighborhood.

Then when she needed him the most, Daniel would come to the rescue with her binky and favorite toy in hand trying his best to cheer her up. My 22 month old was trying to pull his older sister out of a tantrum! It broke my heart to see.

I felt so guilty that Daniel was being exposed to this behavior, and at such a young and vulnerable age. I made it my goal to keep his world as peaceful as possible.

Then just recently a play date with a neighbor was cut short and I walked home holding Chloe’s hand tight. I just knew she was about to lose it. I could see it in her eyes.

I got her inside and closed the garage door just as she threw herself on the floor in rage.  I got down on the ground and held her tight and tried to rock her the best I could in the moment.

Then I had to leave the room quickly to find her favorite binky, which helps calm her down when she’s in a dark place.

As I turn the corner, binky in hand, I see Daniel kneel down next to her and wrap his tiny arms around her as she screams. He was trying his best to hug her.

In that moment my heart felt so heavy. I felt sick to my stomach. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He was the younger brother and yet he had no choice but to come to her rescue. He was her Superhero!

In that moment, I could see his unwavering love for her above anything else. He didn’t know any different. He just wanted to see his sister happy and smiling.

His whole life he has been dealing with random, loud, meltdowns and chaos. He adores her and hates to see her cry.

As tears rolled down my face I thought about the future. I wondered what their relationship would be like 5 and even 10 years from now.

Would he always be her protector?

Would he always come to her rescue when she needed him the most?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. But there is one thing I do know.

My son will be the most kind, caring, empathic and loving young man because of his older sister. He will be a great friend and uplift those around him.

He will love people of all abilities and show genuine kindness, something this world needs more of.

This I know!

Written by, Caitlyn Viviano

My name is Caitlyn Viviano. I a military spouse and Mom to a 4 year old daughter named Chloe, and 1 year old son named Daniel. I enjoy shopping, writing, baking, and drinking wine. I recently started a blog http://www.sassyonthespectrum.com/CV/ to share my life after my daughter’s diagnosis.

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