Observations From an Autism Mom
Off he went in a flash in the big open gym. He darted away not to play with other kids at the birthday party, but instead to play with a curtain on the far right side of the room that separates the small space from the big gym.
He happily pulled the curtain open and closed it again. Over and over.
He then darted off to throw a basketball in the hoop. He laughed as he picked up the ball and threw it in.
Within a few seconds, he was running around the gym narrowly missing the other children who surrounded him. He did not notice the little girl who was trying to play with him. In a flash, he was back to the curtain entertaining himself by pulling the heavy fabric over his head. That was his happy place.
I work so hard to stress that we should avoid using labels or diagnoses to describe people with special needs, yet when my little boy screamed at another little boy who had a toy my son wanted, I apologetically looked at the mom and said “My son has autism.” I did it. I labeled.
The boy’s mother politely smiled and said “It is okay- my son needs to learn to share anyway.” She later mentioned that had I not said something about my son having autism, she would have never known.
Reminder to self: DITCH. THE. LABELS.
Jacob lost interest in the toy after a moment and quickly went back to his curtain. He would remain there for majority of the party. In situations like these, I feel the need to justify my son’s behavior. Jacob is who he is.
My son Jacob is a happy and energetic 3 year old little boy, who simply wants to run around and be happy. He does not get intimidated by others. He is not scared of anyone. He is assertive.
Yes, Jacob has autism, but it does not define him. In moments of weakness, I break down. I justify something that does not need to be justified. Jacob certainly does not apologize for who he is. Why should I? There is nothing to apologize for. Jacob enjoyed the party at his pace, and while I may not understand his pace, do I really need to?
Jacob constantly reminds me to look deeper at others and forego judgement on how I think things should be. Because each person has a gift. Each person has their own story to share. Each person is unique and pigeon-holing anyone is never okay.
It is up to each of us to find common ground with one another and lose the judgement and perceptions.
We can always find ways to work together. We only need to view it through the eyes of love and compassion.
Written by, Molly Korte
Molly Korte, founder of Project: Just Like You, simply wants to help make this world a better place to live. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
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