Today, Self Care is…
Today, self care is leaving work early to pick up Sawyer from preschool and waiting with him for five minutes while he examined a crack in the sidewalk. Which he was sure was a secret path to the middle of the earth. As I tried to rush him along he told me, ‘NO MAMA. I am doing science.’ So of course, I squatted down beside him, in the cold and drizzle, and looked for the center of the earth.
Self care is getting home in the daylight and walking my dogs. Something I loved to do before autism. Something that makes my heart happy. Listening to music, feeling the air on my face, smelling the snow, and chasing after my two Labrador babies.
Self care is making dinner and eating together as a family. It’s looking at my beautiful boys. Sawyer seated in his chair and Cooper running to and from the table, squealing with delight at his Thomas video. It’s putting good food in our bodies and not something out of a box.
Self care is calling home and hearing Cooper squeal when he recognized my voice. That was a first. He’s never recognized my voice when I’ve called. Or paid any attention to the phone.
Self care is watching the news, with my feet up, wrapped in a blanket and drinking a cup of coffee.
Self care is taking a shower on my terms and not fitting it into a seven minute window with children screaming and banging on the door.
Self care is not staying up to send one more work email or replying to one more text message. It is getting in bed and snuggling up to the chattiest four year old alive.
Self care is taking the time to sit next to Cooper and take delight in all of his joy. It’s tickling him and hearing the most amazing laugh God put on this earth.
Self care doesn’t have to be a massage or weekend away. Often, those things aren’t feasible. At least not in my world.
I’m working on digging out friends. I’m trying to remember what I like to do and finding five minutes to actually do it. Reading, cooking, exercising and laughing.
And being a mom. Not the mom who is constantly filling out evaluations, sitting on hold with county, emailing social workers. Not the mom who only thinks about autism. Not the mom who is always on edge because she is stretched so thin by the rigidity and anxiousness of autism.
I’m just trying to get back to me. Not me before autism though. I don’t believe that woman exists anymore. And that’s okay. I believe this me is way better.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.
