A Letter to the Mother of a Child With Autism

Dear mama,

I want you to know that when you leave your child with me, he will be safe, loved, and encouraged. I want you to know that I see you and you are not alone. I also want you to know mom, that I see behind your smile and want to hug you every day.

When you leave your child at my door I sometimes secretly hope that you are going to do something wonderful for yourself and that you don’t forget to take care of yourself. I want you to know that it’s okay to be overwhelmed and I see that you are doing your best even though you don’t see that yourself. I see you.

I see how your home has been taken over and arranged for your boy. I see how you have locks on your cabinets and have not be able to put up a Christmas tree. I see that you are exhausted. I also see that you are the best mommy that you can be and he is lucky to have you.

I want you know mom, I am also a mother and although my children are not developmentally delayed, I know what it feels like to love a child with all of your being and be consumed with the need to nurture them and protect them. I know what it’s like to worry.

Please know that I am on your team.

Please know that I think about your child as much as my biological ones and I truly want what is best for him.

Please know that I will spend sleepless nights and countless hours thinking about ways to help him and you. I want you to know that I will continue to think about you and him for years to come even after we go our separate ways down the road.

I want you to know that your child brings me joy and taking part in his growth and development makes me feel alive.

Please know I believe in him and I know he is amazing.

Please know that you should never stop dreaming or give up goals and hopes because he is improving every day and capable of so much and yet already perfect in so many ways.

Please know that your child will teach me more about life than I will ever be able to teach him. That’s probably true for the both of us.

I also want you to know on the hard days that things will get better. What he struggles with today he can overcome tomorrow. I’ve seen it and experienced it with so many children before yours and I know it is true.

Trusting your child in my care is a gift and I am so grateful for that blessing. You are not alone mom and when you leave your child with me, he will be safe, and loved, and encouraged, and so will you.

Always on your side,

Your Behavior Analyst

This article was submitted to Finding Cooper’s Voice by Shelly Swift, Executive Director of The ABA Academy, Inc. Shelly has been working with children with autism for 20 years and five years ago opened the ABA Academy in Florida and now serves about 65 beautiful children.

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