I’m Thankful For You: My Mother-in-Law
(Editor’s Note: This article was provided by Cathy Fitzgerald and is part of Cooper’s, ‘I’m Thankful For You’ Campaign.)
My name is Cathy Fitzgerald and I am the mammy to a beautiful, funny, cheeky little 4-year-old train obsessed boy named Caelan. Along with his daddy Ed, we all live in Boyle in County Roscommon in the Republic of Ireland. This November I want to honor and thank my Mother-in-Law Trish, the best Nana ever.
Caelan was diagnosed with ASD on February 14 of this year…a valentines I will never forget. My heart broke and I thought I would never stop crying. I had a feeling something wasn’t quite right with my little man when he wasn’t hitting some of the typical milestones but just put it down to being a first time Mum. And, everyone always says boys are lazier or it will come, but no one can really prepare you for that diagnosis. Around age two he started displaying red flags as they say. He had a lack of eye contact, very few words, fussy with food, and his social interaction weren’t great but then a lot of these symptoms or red flags were things I reassured myself were just typical toddler traits…things are not black and white when they are so young.
A lot of family and friends reassured me that he was just a bit slow with his speech as he hit his other baby milestones on time. I was not prepared for autism. Our public health nurse referred us to our local early intervention team and that is when he was diagnosed. That’s when life changed for us forever. All my hopes and dreams for him didn’t seem so possible anymore.
I started researching autism and even completed an online autism awareness diploma as I needed to know as much as possible. During the course I was given facts and figures on things such as percentages of autistic children that go on to have jobs, form relationships, have children, live independently, etc. It was heartbreaking to read and worse to imagine for my special boy.
Caelan loves trains and has hundreds of them, especially Thomas the tank engine. He loves his kindle and looking at YouTube videos of trains and Thomas. He loves to race and win! He is funny and cheeky and a whizz at jigsaw puzzles!
Caelan is a very special little boy that some would describe as ‘ mildly autistic’ because he is verbal and toilet trained. He lacks communication, social interaction and social imagination but he works VERY hard to be ‘mildly autistic’ as some would say. I push his boundaries by keeping him in mainstream school and exposing him to other children where he has to try communicate and interact and he keeps on blowing me away! He has come leaps and bounds in the last year with his speech, fine motor skills, toilet training and social skills. He never gives up! And I don’t let him!
Caelan is very lucky to have lots of people in his life that love him and take time to get to know him but there is one particular person I am so thankful for. My mother-in-law Trish! I’m originally from the UK ?? so I don’t have any of my family over here in Ireland and I don’t know where we would be without her. She is the best Nana a little boy could hope for. She looks after Caelan when Ed and I need a break or a rare bit of ‘us’ time and she is the only person I feel comfortable leaving with him. She knows and accepts him exactly how he is and I can relax knowing he is in good hands.
She never judges us. We have good days and my god we have some bad days, but she is always there to remind us that we got this and how much we have done for our little man.
She openly admits that she doesn’t really know much about autism, which is refreshing..as most people seem to think they are an expert or write it off as something insignificant…it’s very significant. Autism is a big deal and it is our life day in and day out. She is always looking to listen and learn what she can from Caelan and I just want her to know she keeps us going! She is perfect just the way she is…just like Caelan.
Your page keeps me sane also. I read, cry and laugh at your posts because we share some of the same thoughts,emotions-experiences and worries. It’s good to know you are not alone in this crazy journey and while I’m so thankful for my little man I’m not thankful for autism, I don’t think it’s a gift or a blessing and if I could take away the struggles Caelan faces I would do it in a second.
You can still nominate the doctors, therapists, teachers, friends and family that make a difference in your special needs world. Click HERE to learn how!
