I’m Thankful For You: Tom’s Story

(Editor’s Note: This article was provided by Lauren Abate and is part of Cooper’s ‘I’m Thankful For You’ Campaign.)

This November I would like to nominate Tom Tipton who owns and operates the We Rock the Spectrum kids gym in Fenton, MO!

Tom may not even realize the impact he has had on my family’s lives. He is one of those people that is just genuinely good.

Hudson’s Story

My son, Hudson, is 31 months old. He has always been a little delayed in meeting his milestones. It just took him a little longer to sit, stand, walk etc… I distinctly recall telling the doctor at his checkups that this child was just ‘more’ many, many times. He never would hold his own bottle, sleep by himself, seemed to be utterly drawn to danger and so many other things I look back now and realize were ‘red flags.’  However, we were not worried. I assumed he would just catch up. He was saying mama and dada before he was a year old. But he lost those words before his first birthday. At 24 months, he still had no words. At his 24-month doctor’s appointment, his pediatrician evaluated his development and recommended we reach out to First Steps, the early intervention program in our state. Then he said, “Hudson has some red flags for autism. I want you to know Dr. Madden sees it and is keeping an eye on it, but I didn’t want you to be thrown off if someone mentions this.” What the hell… the A word. I was stunned. I could not even say it. We came here for a checkup, certainly not to talk about autism. My child is not autistic. After all he is loving. And this was exactly why I waited so long. I wanted to give my child time to just show he was stubborn. I did not want anyone trying to label him when he just developed a little slower than others. We gathered our things, smiled and left.

We Were Lost

I made the referral for First Steps that day. When they came out to do the evaluation we went in depth about his behaviors, his birth, his likes, dislikes, eating patterns… all of it. When I got his evaluation back I was crushed to learn he was delayed in all 5 areas of development. The most severe delay being in speech. He scored at 10 months, which was 14 months behind his actual age. We felt shocked, confused, alone, sad you name it. The only way I can describe learning your child has special needs and then trying to figure out where to go from there is that it’s like trying to find your way out of a corn maze in the Amazon jungle. We were lost. There was little to no support or guidance or information or any of it. That’s when we met Tom.

I am a social worker. I spend my days advocating for abused and neglected children and providing referrals for resources in the community. I was in the lunchroom telling my co-worker’s about a recent bad experience at Monkey Joe’s where another child had tried to choke my son and then held him down. I was frustrated. It seemed like anywhere we went we were having other kids doing something like this to him. He doesn’t talk so yelling for help obviously isn’t an option. A co-worker asked if we’d tried the We Rock the Spectrum gym. I had no idea what she was talking about. A social worker who knows a dang lot about resources in the community and you’re telling me there’s a gym for kids with special needs literally down the road from my house!

We Rock The Spectrum Gym

We decided to give this place a try. We walked in and there were a few other people ahead of us filling out waivers and paying. Patience and waiting are two things my child does not do. He wanted to run in and play, but we had to wait. He had an utter meltdown. My husband had to take him outside while I waited in line, but you could still hear him screaming. After a few minutes, he came back in with him (still in the midst of meltdown mode). I had already filled out the waiver but for some reason the credit card machine was going very slowly; of course, that is just my luck. I was aggravated.  I looked up at Tom with a flailing, screaming child in my arms and asked, “Can he just go in?” Tom looked at me and said, “I’m so sorry. I should have recognized that was what he wanted. Yes, please go in.” That is the first (and probably last) time I have ever had anyone apologize to me for my child having a meltdown. My husband took my son in and I waited to pay. I noticed that Tom asked each person about his or her child. Their name, where they lived, what brought them in, etc. When he got to me, he apologized again.

You Are Not Alone

He asked us about our son and I explained that we were not sure what exactly was going on with him but that we knew he had sensory issues and the word autism had been thrown out there. He looked at me and said, “we are here for you. You are not alone.” That was the first time anyone had ever been willing to ‘partner’ with us on this journey. Just someone saying, “you are not alone” I felt a relief. I can’t explain it.

Things calmed down. Hudson was able to go in and play. He immediately found a train table. Of course he did, he is choo-choo train obsessed. Thomas is life. I looked around at the place and painted on the wall was, “finally a place where you never have to say I’m sorry.” I teared up. My son moved on to the trampoline. There were two other children on it. Both a little older and you could distinctly tell had special needs. I noticed how my child acted in a similar manner. How they were all in their own worlds yet were drawn to the same things. They all enjoyed watching spinning objects. They all laid there on that trampoline. I could not stop the tears that freely flowed down my cheeks. It was really the first concrete realization for me that my child was different. I had never really had anything else to compare him to. Yet also the feeling that I was not alone.

Thank You Tom

We are regulars at the gym. Tom has shared his own personal experience with autism. He has an autistic son. He knows our child by name. He has shared about resources and given us direction on where to find help or go from here. He informed us about MO-FEAT, Missouri Families for Effective Autism Treatment. They sent us a resource book of every single autism resource in the entire state! He has talked with us, helped us, engaged with our son and has provided a safe place for him to play.

Tom genuinely fills a great need in the community and more than that, he shows an interest in helping each child that walks through the door. He knows them by name most of the time. He plays with them. He talks with the parents. He is a real life super hero. 

Hudson loves going there. He has a full Neuro-Developmental evaluation this coming Thursday. No matter what, we are not alone <3

A little bit more about We Rock The Spectrum

We Rock the Spectrum Kid’s Gym was founded to provide a place for children of all ability levels to play and grow together. As the only kid’s gym that offers an all-inclusive philosophy we have found all children can benefit from our uniquely designed sensory equipment that is specifically designed to aid children with sensory processing disorders. However, in our experience, all children are able to benefit greatly from this equipment and by allowing children of all ability levels to play together they are able to learn a great deal from each other and become the best motivation for success on every level.ALL kids are welcome at We Rock The Spectrum. We are all about inclusion, healthy play, and socialization opportunities for kids, their parents, siblings, and friends.

You can still nominate the doctors, therapists, teachers, friends and family that make a difference in your special needs world. Click HERE to learn how!