Archive for November 2014
I Would Always Choose Cooper
Coopers birthday is on Saturday. He will be 4. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. Even sneaking little peeks at Cooper. Watching closer than usual. Wondering how we got here and marveling in how far we’ve come. And thinking how far we have to go. And most importantly melting at just how wonderful this kid is and secretly wondering if maybe his way of thinking isn’t all that off. For example I am trying to teach Cooper to sign ‘thank you’. The sign is touching your hand to your chin and would be pretty…
Read More2 Month Update
Cooper has been at Fraser for 2 months. That is absolutely crazy to me. When we considered moving 3 hours away, with the main reason being for his care, I secretly thought it would never work. Not the us part but the school part. Traditional therapy has been a nightmare for Cooper. We started with having the school district in our home, then went to traditional speech and OT at the hospital and then tried ECFE and lastly speech at a specialty clinic for kids with language disorders. ALL FAILURES. That sounds…
Read MoreMaking Smart Choices
You couldn’t pay me to talk about the Ferguson, Missouri crisis on my blog. I’m a pretty laid back chick ‘in public’ and I don’t like to get too worked up about stuff. Not because I don’t care, but because confrontation makes me want to vomit. I get flustered and I usually (more like always) end up crying. But…it’s a different story in my own home. Jamie and I discuss topics like this quite frequently. I can say that I got so mad over the Trayvon Martin case that I almost…
Read MoreA Conversation with Myself
A couple nights ago Cooper was being a real bear as I was putting him to bed. I read him a story, tucked him in, put up the gate at the door to his room, grabbed the baby monitor, and went downstairs to continue my never-ending packing journey. We were moving in a few days. A new city. New services for Cooper. As I suspected Coops did not want to go to sleep and screamed/yelled at the gate. Normally, I don’t let it bother me. Sleep is not something he…
Read MoreSaying It Out Loud
So for the first time ever I had the words, “I’m sorry…he’s autistic” on the tip of my tongue and couldn’t bring myself to say it. We are getting new carpet in our basement and on Sunday two people from the company came over to show us carpet samples and measure. Jamie went downstairs with the guy and I stayed upstairs with the boys to look at the samples. The woman was showing me the different styles and had them spread out all over the floor. As usual Sawyer was…
Read MoreSuper Cooper
Sometimes I forget that Cooper is just a little boy. And that he is only 3. And so stinking cute. I look at this picture and I see a boy. Not an autistic boy. It’s an invisible thing. I never knew that one word could change my life so much. I am so thankful that I am past the diagnosis part. I almost just typed that I am thankful to be past the unknown part. But that’s not true. Every bit of Cooper’s future is unknown. I believe we are…
Read MoreThe Inability To 'Just Be'
I think a lot about the hardest parts of autism…or Cooper’s autism I guess. There are days when I think the whining is the worst. Or his eating habits. Or the throwing. It can vary and probably has a lot to do with how tired I am or worn down at that moment. Some days I can take on anything. I am a rock. And some days I feel like I can’t take it anymore. There are days where I feel like I won’t survive fighting over another dinner. Cooper will…
Read MoreI Need To Step Up My Game.
So, how did Halloween go? That is the question on everyone’s mind. Cooper rocked it. He wore his costume and went to 10 or so houses. He even grabbed or took candy and even waved to every candy giver when asked. Towards the end he would get in the stroller in between houses but refused to stay in the stroller when his cousins went up to the house. It was pretty damn great. Little stuff like that means a lot to me. Towards the end he started trying to peek by the…
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