Holding my Breath During the Good Days

We are having good days. As usual, I am so nervous to type it because I feel like it will jinx it. Cooper is learning, laughing and even improving. I would say around age 2 I started to notice that Cooper either had good days or bad days. I would try to explain it to people but I don’t think they believed me. But now, after creating this circle of other moms like me, I know it is common. Where Sawyer learns something new every single day, Cooper may not learn anything outwardly for a week or even two. And on those streaks I get so sad. But I am so excited to say we kicked that bad streaks ass! It started at Easter and it wrapped up last week or so. Thank you God for getting better.

I haven’t cried in a week. Daycare pick ups are a breeze. Speech and occupational therapy are going great. I am slowly starting to settle in.

I wish I didn’t hold my breath during the good times. I wish I could truly enjoy them. But I can’t. At least not a 100%. I can’t allow myself to get too settled in. At least not yet.

This weekend the boys went to Grandma and Grandpa’s for a few days. It was amazing. To be honest, we hardly even mentioned Cooper. I am usually the one that brings it up but since all is going so well I didn’t feel the need too. I felt normal.

And then it happened. Something so subtle that I don’t even think my husband know he said it. We were out on Saturday night watching the hockey game and taking a few shots to celebrate. (My idea:-) We raised our glasses and Jamie said, “well, here’s to hoping Cooper talks someday.” And there it was. It’s always on our minds. We can’t outrun it.

And now for some picture cuteness. I was able to get a picture of me and the boys together! How is that for a Mother’s Day gift. And, 2 out of 3 are looking at the camera. SCORE! A shot of Coop’s playing ‘so big’ and of course a train shot. Happy days may be short lived but I am going to do my hardest to soak it all up.