With The Good Comes The Sad.
Certain things are getting better with Cooper and certain things are getting worse. And because of that we can’t seem to get our bearings. We NEED a language breakthrough so badly. Anything really. Just something to show us that it’s going to get better.
I have lots of positive from the weekend.
Cooper will now sit at the kitchen table in an actual chair and eat a meal. This. Is. Huge. Up until this point Cooper would never ever sit still unless he was in a booster seat. I am so excited about this. It shows me that he is gaining self control. Thank God. I’ve also noticed that he will sit down to watch a movie or play on his leap pad as well. Normally he has to be standing.
I also noticed this weekend that he has more of a desire to be around the center of activity. We were having dinner with family this weekend and Cooper hung out in the dining room the whole time. He even climbed into peoples laps while we were eating. It was pretty dang cute.
Cooper is also getting very comfortable climbing. And his brain is taking part as well. I watched him push a chair over the bookshelf so he could climb on it and get his flashcards. All new!
I know these are subtle improvements. But I have to get excited because they are few and far between these days. I also tried a sensory activity today with shaving cream. It went well. And by well I mean he participated the whole time while trashing my whole entire dining room. It looked like the center of a car wash when we were down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY1CKf1JLAg
This is my first Cooper video on the blog! I am well aware that I sound like a crazy person in this video but you get to see how dang cute he is!!!
There are other positives too. Cooper is learning every day. His social skills are improving daily. He loves to wrestle and tickle and is sleeping amazing. Oh, and he gave up his NUKS completely with absolutely no problem. You gotta love that.
And with the good comes the sad.
As much as Cooper loves his toys he just doesn’t have the patience to play with them. And it is so frustrating. If I was to pick the single hardest part about Cooper ‘issues’, I would have to pick his inability to play with anything for more than 5 seconds. (excluding technology, books and trains) I watched him today and noticed that he just sort of wanders around the house and never really commits to anything. Repetitious activity….HA…try the opposite.
And potty training is going awful. Today Cooper actually peed on the floor, slipped in it and fell. Ugh. We tried ALL WEEKEND LONG. He just doesn’t get it. We put him on the potty every 20 minutes and he refuses to pee. He would sit there all day I think. I am not shooting for the moon here…I am just trying to get him to dribble in the potty. And he refuses to do it. But, he LOVES his underwear and wants to wear them. And he tells me the second he pees in them. So, I guess that’s a good thing!
Lastly, his frustrations with lack of communication are at an all time high. And mine are through the roof as well. Deep down I know they are only going to get worse. He has even started hitting his head with his hand if we don’t understand him. It is heartbreaking. Nothing will confuse a mom more than to see her child hit their own head. I border between anger and sadness with that one.
Tomorrow is a new week!
Those are some wonderful improvements! And while they may be “small”, they are very big to those of us who know what day to day life is like without them. Have you ever thought about getting him a communication device? I know a little boy who is five and has no verbal language, and he has a tablet with pictures that he uses to communicate. I know the goal is for Cooper to talk, but in the meantime, maybe something like that would help with frustration.
Hey there! He could never, ever handle it. He is Too technology obsessed. Also, I don’t know of he really knows what communication is yet…meaning we have some picture cards and they don’t really make sense to him yet. We have so far to go with language it scares the hell out of me. And I read done statistic that if kids don’t talk by 5 it’s basically game over. Talk about scary.
I read that somewhere too, but I think new data is suggesting that isn’t true. I think a breakthrough can happen at any age, it’s just slower after five. Hang in there, mama!
Read this article. http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/speech-devices-can-help-build-language-schoolchildren-autism
I’ll read it! Thanks! So, I can’t remember. How old is your son? Is he 4?
No, he will be three in July.
Oh he’s just a peanut! I think sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worry about Cooper I forget that he just turned 3.
My mother was visiting for the weekend and she made a comment about Jonah being 4, and I corrected her and said he was only 2. And her response was,”well, he is still young. He has plenty of time to catch up.” I cringed in the inside, and then I looked over at Jonah, who was laying eye level with his toys, flicking his fingers and thought about how even my closest family doesn’t understand what is going on. It’s definitely easy to forget how young our kids are, but I think we worry because we know what’s coming. We know school is it around the corner.
We love shaving cream parties with my kids! When it gets warmer, it’s easier cleanup to do it on the porch- you can just hose everything (and everyone) off after. 😉 As far as the communication, as you probably know, my youngest has no formal expressive language. She is four and a half. I don’t know that she will ever speak or sign. For now we are just keeping every option available to her, because there is a difference between “speech” and “language.” I would suspect that like my daughter, your Cooper is understanding much if not most of what you are saying to him and around him. Be patient. There really is no deadline. I know it is hard. Believe me, I really know it is really hard. But that five year old or game over stuff? It’s just not true. Just be patient. Offer him choices. Enjoy the child he is. Sometimes we get so caught up in the therapy, we forget to just enjoy childhood. Hugs.
What a great idea! Outside it is. I was thinking of the bathtub too. Cooper loves making messes and usually I’m ok with it but my dining room was destroyed today! Yes, cooper understands everything. Which is relatively new. I am so thankful for that part. But, I am struggling so bad with him not talking. I sometimes worry I’m not strong enough. It’s just so heartbreaking.
It’s okay to be sad, but you are strong enough. You will find the strength. And once he has some method of communicating, there’s a better chance the speech will come. My daughter uses an iPad, but it’s rather limited. But she’s improving little by little. My friend’s son had no speech until he was four, but he started signing, a little here and there, and once he figured out he could get what he wanted that way, the speech came all at once. He’s in my son’s fourth grade mainstreamed class – he will talk your ear off, given the opportunity. Never ever give up. Just work with what you have, and little by little you will find his method. xoxo
You make me smile! Thank you. I needed that today.
Great video! Our speech therapist said there is now research that proves it is never time to give up on speech. My son has no words at 5 and a half. It has been a journey for me and everyday when his twin sister talks I wish he could too. But he can use pictures to ‘ask’ for something and this eases his frustration a bit. We all need to be understood. Cooper understood you were talking about his belly which is huge! Receptive language (understanding what people say) comes well before expressive language (talking) so you are well on the right road. And I even noticed some eye contact with Cooper! Keep up the great work. You will look back one day and smile at this video. X
Sending hugs! Hang in there-you are a great mom, and Cooper will get there! Stay smiling xoxo
Thank you! I love the positivity on this Monday morning!
Hi Kate – I love that you are finding the good among the bad! The boys are so similar. Patrick also, if left to his own devices, will just wander aimlessly. This type of behavior scares me as I believe it to be a precursor to an ADHD diagnosis. Have a good week!
I think it is too. My husband and a few other family members have some attention issues. And I believe I was a super hyper child. Now, I would give anything to sit in a chair and read a book for 3 days!
Hang in there! Learning is like the tango. There are some steps forward, a few more back. Sometimes you end up in the same spot… sometimes to the left and sometimes to the right. The pace can be fast or it can be slow. The only important thing is trying not to step on someone else’s toes.