How Can You Hate Everything?
“It’s not humanly possible that you hate everything Cooper. Unless, you aren’t human and you were sent to this earth to make me insane. Then, I guess yes, it might be possible.” Then I looked deep into his eyes to see if maybe he was indeed an alien. Nope. No sign.
This is something I said to Cooper yesterday on the way home from his first occupational Therapy appointment.
Let me remind you that this place is amazing and the therapist is an angel. An actual angel. She had the play room all set up for Cooper. We get there, he hugs her and grabs her hand to go play. Off we go. In my mind I am thinking, ‘how long is this going to last?’
The appointments are 45 minutes long. For the first 10 minutes he ran around and hopped from activity to activity. I plopped myself down in the corner and willed myself to relax, breath, and let it happen.
After 10 minutes or so Cooper saw that giant therapy balls that were hanging on a rack on the wall. He pointed to them and smiled. The therapist said NO. He grabbed the therapists hand and showed her what he wanted. Again, she said NO. He signed ‘help, please. More, please.’ Repeat. He then went all out and tried to climb up to them. He got a huge NO from both of us then.
And ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. Cue 20 minute tantrum. No exaggeration. He was pissed and he wanted us to know. He ran, he destroyed. He kicked. He screamed. I kept my cool until he starting getting out of control.
Now, in Cooper’s defense, he can’t talk. He can’t communicate that he is mad. And he’s not mean thank God. He can only show us with actions that he is mad. And this kid has a flair for the dramatics. (He gets that from me!)
After a quick time-out he calmed down and actually played and enjoyed himself. The problem as I see it with therapy right now is that Cooper can’t focus on anything. Even if it’s an activity that he loves he can’t ‘stop’ moving long enough to enjoy it. And it makes it seem like he HATES everything. How is that freaking possible?
I want him to have fun there. I want him to enjoy himself. I want him to CALM the heck down. His Therapist actually said that it will get better with every appointment. This is ‘normal’ behavior for a kiddo like Cooper. Again, she is amazing so I put my faith into her.
On the way home from the appointment I felt the need to reward my little kiddo for the good 15 minutes. His favorite food in the while wide world is Cheetos. Mom of the year right here. Now, everything he was wearing that day is covered in a yellow paste. Including his car seat, the truck, his blanket, etc. #WINNING
Something about this scenario seems off to me. I wish the therapist would have found a way to work with the ball. I’m all for teaching No and setting boundaries, but if it takes 20 minutes away from precious therapy time, it seems like a bad idea. No and boundaries can be focused on with strength in other situations. At least that’s what has worked for us.
I agree. I think he escalated so quickly that neither of us wanted to reward ‘bad’ behavior?? Cooper goes from zero to 1 million in 5 seconds and it can be shocking. Also, I think if he would have played with the ball for more than 5 seconds she would have given it to him as well. He’s just so manic that it’s hard to know the right thing to do. Also, I’m not always a good judge because I spend A LOT of time holding my breath and trying to do whatever I can to avoid a Cooper meltdown. Which isn’t right either. Sigh.
Such a beautiful boy! I hope things get better for you both soon x
Thanks!