Your Son Can Hear It All

 I took Cooper alone to meet with the School Audiologist. I didn’t want Sawyer or my husband with us. I wanted it to be quick and painless. I wanted it to be easy. For the millionth time I prayed that life with Cooper could be easier. Why did it always have to be so hard?

The School Audiologist met us at the Scottish Rite Clinic. This place is amazing. They specialize in working with children that have speech and language disorders. It was calm. I liked calm.

I think angels were smiling at us the day we went to the appointment because the clinic was actually closed for a field trip. It was just me, Super Cooper and the Audiologist.

She met me in the waiting room and told me that she would test Cooper’s hearing and test for all of the language sounds/pitches/etc. She was wonderful and patient and kind. Just what I needed. She also told me not to get my hopes up. An ABR is rarely wrong.

Cooper and I went into the booth and as usual it was 150 degrees in there. Why, or why, can’t they pump some air into those things! For the stressed out moms like myself!

Cooper sat on my lap and as I stared forward, my little peanut turned his head at every single sound. Left, then right, and so on. I refused to get my hopes up. This is exactly what happened last time.

After 5 minutes, the Audiologist opened the booth. It seemed to soon and my heart sunk. He must have failed. But heck, I must have failed too! I heard every sound that he did.

She looked right at me and said, “He heard every single sound, speech sound and pitch I could test for. Your son can hear just fine. He heard it all.”

What did I feel at this exact moment….Relief. Then anger. Then exhaustion. Then, I told you so. And finally, what now?

She tested his hearing in the booth one more time just to be sure. And then did a newborn hearing screening and then ended with a headphone test. Cooper fought us most of the way. But I didn’t care. The little stinker could hear.

At the very end Cooper was tired and pulled a hearing testing device thingy out of his ear and looked right at me. He looked at me and seemed to say, “what next mom? I wore the hearing aids that I didn’t need. Now what?” I smiled. Don’t count Super Cooper out. He’s a fighter. Just like me.

We returned the hearing aids that week (with 2 days to spare for a refund!). When we told Dr. Alice about Cooper’s results she didn’t have any reaction. I wanted her to be happy for him. To be ecstatic that a little boy didn’t need to wear hearing aids for the rest of his life. Or she could have at least been surprised. Or told us that we were wrong. She didn’t care either way. That part hurt the most.

Just to be sure I followed up with a specialist at Childrens Hospital in the city to get her opinion on the failed ABR. She told me that her practice will no longer do an ABR following a tube surgery. The ear drum can be swollen from tubes and it will give false results. Like hearing loss.

I had quite a few people ask me if I was angry about the misdiagnosis. I told them the answer was no. I had tried so hard to accept the hearing loss and could never believe it. I was too relieved to be angry. And exhausted.