And Then There Were Four

In January 2013, our second son was born. Sawyer came into this world happy smiling and learning. He is so different than Cooper. He slept all the time. Thank God. I don’t think I could have handled two babies not sleeping. He loved to nurse and eat. Even now at 10 months he is an amazing eater. And most importantly, Sawyer is babbling. I didn’t know how emotional it would be for me the first time he babbled mama and dada. I wish I could describe how I felt. First, I cried. Of course. Then I felt sad. Really sad. Sad for Cooper. Sad for myself. Sad that Sawyer had passed his brother in language. Then I felt anger. I was mad at myself for not being happy for Sawyer. I just couldn’t win. Throughout all of this I always forget to be easy on myself.

In May 2013 Cooper started developing A LOT of ear infections. Or at least we thought he had ear infections. The whining was constant, he wasn’t sleeping through the night and he seemed to always have a low grade fever. But we had a problem. Whenever we brought him to the pedi he would scream and cry and get so upset that his temperature would rise and his ear drums would get super red. The dr. would say, “Yup, I think he has an ear infection.” Prescribe the weakest antibiotic ever and off we would go. It would work for a day or two and then he would be sick again.

I remember one horrible experience where I had to bring both boys to the doctor by myself. Cooper would start screaming the second we entered the exam room. Picture me, sweating, with a newborn who usually wanted to be nursed, and a big, strong, screaming 2 year old. We had a male doctor who said, “don’t worry about me!! Just hold him down so I can see in his ears!” Cooper was running around the time exam room screaming…knocking over chairs…and pushing the doctor. I was in tears. The baby was crying. God we were a mess. I told my husband never again would I do that alone. Looking back, this is the sensory issue stuff. But at the time I didn’t even know what that was.

I finally demanded tubes in his ears. We went to the consult for the surgery and met the most amazing doctor. He was patient with Cooper and us and said that Coooper’s ears were so full of fluid that he probably hadn’t heard correctly in our a year. And this was why he wasn’t talking. Finally, an answer. Or a reason for the not talking.

The tube surgery was scheduled for the first week in July. Which was 3 weeks away.